The Utterly Utterly Merry Comic Relief Christmas Book was a fundraising book issued on behalf of Comic Relief in 1986. It was edited by Douglas Adams and Peter Fincham and contained contributions from many of the leading comedy writers and performers of the day.
Read more about The Utterly Utterly Merry Comic Relief Christmas Book: Contents, Fundraising, Censorship, Contributors
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“We must understand how to hide in darkness in order to escape the gnat-swarms of utterly annoying admirers.”
—Friedrich Nietzsche (1844–1900)
“The basic Female body comes with the following accessories: garter belt, panti-girdle, crinoline, camisole, bustle, brassiere, stomacher, chemise, virgin zone, spike heels, nose ring, veil, kid gloves, fishnet stockings, fichu, bandeau, Merry Widow, weepers, chokers, barrettes, bangles, beads, lorgnette, feather boa, basic black, compact, Lycra stretch one-piece with modesty panel, designer peignoir, flannel nightie, lace teddy, bed, head.”
—Margaret Atwood (b. 1939)
“And in a comic mood
In mid-air take to bed a wife.”
—Karl Shapiro (b. 1913)
“It is said that he once had a sore toe that so annoyed him that he went to the woodpile and chopped it off with an axe, quoting the Scripture, ‘If thy foot offend thee, cut it off.’”
—For the State of Rhode Island, U.S. public relief program (1935-1943)
“Please to put a nickel,
Please to put a dime.
How petitions trickle
In at Christmas time!”
—Phyllis McGinley (1905–1978)
“Every book teaches a lesson, even if the lesson is only that one has chosen the wrong book.”
—Mason Cooley (b. 1927)