The Geoff Show - Former Features

Former Features

• The Dead of the Night: A competition in which Tony describes a dead person's life and the listeners, along with Geoff and Annabel, guess the way in which he dies. Originally the prize was a CD accompanied with an audio book. Now the prize ranges from sexual toys to CD packs.
• The Shitting Forecast: In an attempt to topple the shipping forecast in the late night ratings, listeners called in to tell Geoff what they had to eat that day and Annabel predicted how their bowel movement would be the following morning. This was taken off the air as the quality of the callers had decreased and it did not topple BBC Radio 4. Traditionally, when Geoff asked the caller whether their bowel movements were regular, the caller would reply "I'm as regular as clockwork, Geoff!"
• The Dirty Book at Bedtime: An erotic story read by Annabel Port.
• What the Hell are we going to do on Monday night's show?: A feature on Thursday nights, where three options were given for a one-off feature for the next Monday. Examples include 'Strong thong', 'hackney cab vs acne lad' and 'mop gear'.
• A game with a fellow DJ: Geoff talks to the presenter who succeeds The Geoff Show and plays a game with them. Robin Burke's game is entitled "Rocking Robin" and his theme is the Michael Jackson song of the same name. Geoff asks Robin a question about himself. The twist comes when Robin is not presenting his regular show. In that case, Geoff asks the replacement presenter a question about Robin's personality and they have to estimate the answer from what they know about Robin. When Steve Harris presents the following show, the game is entitled "Call My Band" - Steve reads out three band names, two of which are not real bands. The Symposium have to try and guess which is the real band name. Steve's theme is the theme tune from Call My Bluff. Greg Burns's game is "Chinese Burns", where Geoff explains to the listeners that he suspects China is soon to be the dominant world power. Geoff then asks Greg a question concerning China, 'in an effort to discover more about our Chinese masters'.
• Night fever: Tony, the patient, gives the symptoms of a well known illness to the doctors, Annabel and Geoff, who do not what it is and the listeners call in and diagnose Tony. The prize for a correct diagnosis is the Operation board game and a first aid kit.
• You Say It's Your Birthday, It's My Birthday Too, Yeah!: This is a weekly competition that takes place on a Wednesday in which Geoff goes head to head with a caller that "dares to take on the mighty Geoff", usually threatening to "geoffocate" on them. The caller has the choice of what subject both they and Geoff will answer questions on. Geoff goes out of the recording studio room and the caller answers as many questions right as they can. Geoff then takes his turn to answer the same questions. Geoff has to answer more questions correctly than the caller if he is to win the prize. If there is a draw, the caller wins the prize and Geoff feels cheated as he "didn't answer any less amount of questions than the caller-in did". The prize for the winner is an item from the show's sponsor "i want one of those.com".
• The Sensual Olympics: For 5 weeks, every Wednesday, a Sensual Olympics event takes place between Geoff, Annabel, Nelson and a person from the wider symposium. There was one event for each of the five senses. The first event of the sense of smell was on 27 February 2008 where Annabel Port came first, followed by the wider symposium representative Mark Forsythe, Nelson Kumah coming third, and Geoff Lloyd in last place. The second event on 7 March 2008 was based on eyesight. Geoff came last yet again due to the fact of his strong prescription glasses, Nelson retaining his third position, Annabel dropping to second, with the representative of the wider symposium for the second event, Garry Potter winning. The hearing test on 13 March 2008 was won by Nelson, followed by Geoff second, Annabel coming third and the representative of the wider symposium, Charlee Brown coming last.