The Day Today - Main Characters

Main Characters

• Christopher Morris (Chris Morris) - The newsreader. Chris has several computers giving him the news instantly from around the world, and often interrupts segments in order to break in with more important stories. He is always confrontational and aggressive, frequently picking fights with his staff and guests while on-air, and his efforts to resolve problems (such as airing the BBC's emergency all-purpose propaganda film) frequently make bad situations even worse. Morris' unnecessarily-aggressive personality often causes tensions between him and his staff, and is even responsible for triggering a war between Australia and Hong Kong. His mannerisms — and, particularly, his physical appearance in the pilot episode — suggests that his character is at least loosely based on that of Jeremy Paxman, and there are echoes of Michael Buerk's style of delivery (most notable in the 'Genutainment' section of episode 1). In The Day Today, Morris essentially reprises his overzealous newsreader role from On the Hour, although his bullying streak is far more pronounced in the character's TV incarnation.

• Collaterlie Sisters (alternative spelling: "Collately Sisters") (Doon Mackichan) - Business correspondent. As satire of the incomprehensible nature of business news to the everyman, Collaterlie talks nonsensically about the world of business, padding out her reports with meaningless jargon ("Trading remained succulent for the rest of the day.") She uses bewildering graphics, mainly when addressing the currency market, using such aids as the "Currency Cat", the "Currency Kidney", and the "International Finance Arse". Collaterlie also employs odd syntaxes, speaking in strangley-arranged sentences and frequently name-checking Chris in the middle of her reports. During her reports, a news ticker scrolls across the bottom, displaying meaningless symbols, often containing lots of fours. Chris appears to have a strong dislike for Collaterlie as he can sometimes be heard making scathing remarks about her. In one episode, Chris asks someone to take Collaterlie off his monitor as "I don't want to see her face".

• Sylvester Stuart (David Schneider) - The weatherman. The only part of Sylvester we see is his head, which usually floats on a graphic background. He never describes the weather forecast straightforwardly, instead using unusual metaphors such as "That's about as warm as going into a heated drawing room after chopping some wood" and describing gloomy weather as "a bit like waking up next to a corpse." Notable weather reports have included the "Metball", a pinball-style graphic of the British Isles with Stuart's face as the ball, and another featuring the "Weather Collar"; Stuart wearing a vast iron collar with the British Islands painted on it, rotating his head to face different areas of the country.

• Barbara Wintergreen (Rebecca Front) - Correspondent on The Day Today's American sister channel CBN. Speaking with an exaggerated American accent, All but one of Wintergreen's reports concern the repeated executions of mass murderer Chapman Baxter (Patrick Marber) at various penitentiaries across the United States. Her reports make use of convoluted puns in the execution chamber, and interviews with stereotypical stock characters in American culture (including Steve Coogan as dimwitted Southerner Alvin Holler). Barbara's disturbing reports always end her Barbara attempting a joke (usually drowned out by Chapman Baxter's execution screams) and smirking at the camera. The CBN reports are presented in a noticeably different format to other reports shown in the episodes; her segments are filmed using different lenses and different shot sequences, mimicking the appearance of American media aired on British television channels when conversion problems cause the picture to be discoloured and blurred, while the content of her reports satirises common British perceptions of the American media. The character of Barbara Wintergreen originated in On the Hour, which also featured a character identical to Chapman Baxter, played by Marber and named "Daimler Jeffries".

• Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan (Patrick Marber) - Economic correspondent. O'Hanraha-hanrahan is highly incompetent and petulant, and his reports end with him having to admit their fundamental inaccuracy to an intolerant Morris. Examples include a claim that an American factory with only 25,000 workers had made 35,000 redundant; a failed effort to conduct a light-hearted interview with a shipping minister; and a report in which Peter claims to have conducted an interview with an elusive German economics minister in the German language, his ignorance of which is then exposed. Peter resembles former BBC newsreader Richard Whitmore; his name is clearly inspired by Brian Hanrahan. The character originated in the second series of On the Hour.

• Rosy May (Rebecca Front) - Environmental correspondent. The bearded Rosy May presents the "Enviromation" slot. Her stories include the sky detaching from the horizon; a mobile cemetery; a ban on wave hunting; and a refrigerator powered by earthworms. Her segments always end with a new-age style epigram, such as "Tread not on the forest leaves, for you tread on my face". Rosy never interacts with other members of the news team. The character originated in On the Hour, although in that series, her segment is titled "Green Desk". (The CD releases of On the Hour spell the character's name as "Rosie May", but the "Enviromation" ident in The Day Today identifies her as "Rosy May".)

• Jaques-'Jaques' Liverot (Patrick Marber) - Resident French commentator. Always depicted as a stereotypical postmodernist philosopher, eternally smoking alone in a dark and gloomy corner of the studio, Jacques comments on the news throughout the programme, using a series of pseudo-existentialist bons mots. He asks rhetorical questions, such as "If we could see politics, what would it look like?" and makes philosophical statements, such as "An old man stands naked in front of a mirror, eating soup. He is a fool."

• Valerie Sinatra (Rebecca Front) - Travel correspondent. The Scottish-accented Valerie works in The Day Today travel pod, perched at the top of a tower looming a full mile above the centre of Great Britain. The traffic reports cover strange traffic accidents, such as a piece of pie blocking the road and coverage of an ongoing crash that has been in progress south of Newcastle upon Tyne for several weeks; police marksmen to shoot speeding drivers in the chin; as well as general traffic reports including a claim that workers have finished cobbling the M25. Valerie shares a special relationship with Chris, who always takes the opportunity to openly flirt with her at the start and end of her report.

• Brant (David Schneider) - The physical cartoonist from The Daily Telegraph. Brant satirises the news using cartoon backgrounds and then acting as the main character in the cartoon itself. His cartoons rely on elaborate physical metaphors which have to be labelled to render them comprehensible; an example is his cartoon of Britain's handover of Hong Kong, where Chris Patten, "making a monkey of himself", is represented as King (Hong) Kong climbing the British Empire State Building, swatting at aeroplanes representing China and the handover year, 1997. Brant usually accompanies his cartoons with a strangled wailing noise, and each cartoon ends with his signature. The visual style is reminiscent of Nicholas Garland, a real Daily Telegraph political cartoonist, and the cumbersome labelling of political cartoons generally.

• Alan Partridge (Steve Coogan) - Sports correspondent. Alan is an old-school lower-middle-class Tory who will often say the worst thing at the worst possible time. He has little knowledge of the sports he is covering, and frequently makes critical errors on-air which reveal this. Alan always ends his reports with the words "I'm Alan Partridge, join me", accompanied by Alan staring into the camera. Alan shares an unusual relationship with Morris, who makes a point of making Alan appear uncomfortable on-air: in one episode, Alan's sports reports are interrupted three times by Morris; in another, Morris openly humiliates Alan on-air; and in the final episode, Morris atypically compliments Alan on his report, and goes so far as to kiss Alan on the mouth.

The character had previously appeared, portrayed by Coogan, in the Radio 4 shows On the Hour and Knowing Me Knowing You with Alan Partridge and would go on to star in the TV series Knowing Me, Knowing You... with Alan Partridge and I'm Alan Partridge as well as other works.

• Ted Maul (Chris Morris) - The roving reporter who later appears in Brass Eye made his first appearance in The Day Today as a grey-haired, moustachioed veteran who speaks in an overblown, aggressive way. His reports include one on cannibalism in the police force, and a long-running report covering commuters trapped on a train, who turn to paganism and violence during their wait on the line.

One-off correspondents in the series have absurd names, and include Hellwyn Ballard (Armando Iannucci), Iggy Pop Barker (Marber), Romella Belx (Front), Dônnnald Bethl'hem (Marber), Eugene Fraxby (Morris), Suzanna Gekkaloys (Mackichan), Pheeona Haahlahm (Mackichan), Collin Haye (Morris), Remedy Malahide (Front), Spartacus Mills (Coogan), Colin Poppshed (Peter Baynham), and Beverley Smax (Mackichan). David Schneider also plays The Day Today's News Dancer, who performs an energetic dance as an accompaniment to some news stories.