Stephen Colbert at The 2006 White House Correspondents' Association Dinner - Performance at The Dinner

Performance At The Dinner

American comedian Stephen Colbert was the featured entertainer at the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner, held at the Hilton Washington hotel in Washington, D.C. on April 29, 2006. He was invited to speak by Mark Smith, the outgoing president of the White House Press Corps Association. Smith later told reporters that he had not seen much of Colbert's work. Since 1983, the event has featured well-known stand-up comics. Previous performances included President Gerald Ford and Chevy Chase making fun of Ford's alleged clumsiness in 1975, and Ronald Reagan and Rich Little performing together in 1981.

Colbert gave his after-dinner remarks in front of an audience described by the Associated Press as a "Who's Who of power and celebrity". More than 2,500 guests attended the event, including First Lady Laura Bush, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Peter Pace, U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, China's Ambassador Zhou Wenzhong, AOL co-founder Steve Case, model and tennis player Anna Kournikova, and actor George Clooney. Colbert spoke directly to President Bush several times, satirically praising his foreign policy, lifestyle, and beliefs, and referring to his declining approval rating and popular reputation.

Colbert spoke in the persona of the character he plays on Comedy Central's The Colbert Report, a parody of a conservative pundit in the fashion of Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity. While many of his jokes were directed at President Bush, he also lampooned the journalists and other figures present at the dinner. Most of the speech was prepared specifically for the event, but several segments were lifted—largely unchanged—from The Colbert Report, including parts of the "truthiness" monologue from the first episode of the show, where Colbert advocated speaking from "the gut" rather than the brain and denounced books as "all fact, no heart". Colbert framed this part of the speech as though he were agreeing with Bush's philosophies, saying that he and Bush are "not brainiacs on the nerd patrol", implicitly criticizing the way Bush positioned himself as an anti-intellectual.

Following this introduction to his style and philosophy, Colbert listed a series of absurd "beliefs that I live by", such as "I believe in America. I believe it exists." He alluded to outsourcing to China and satirized the traditional Republican opposition to "big government" by referencing the Iraq War. "I believe the government that governs best is the government that governs least. And by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq," he said.

Colbert then poked fun at Bush's sinking approval ratings:

Now, I know there are some polls out there saying this man has a 32 percent approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in reality. And reality has a well-known liberal bias ... Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32 percent means it's two-thirds empty. There's still some liquid in that glass, is my point. But I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash.

He continued his mock defense of Bush by satirizing Bush's appearances aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln, at the site of the collapsed World Trade Center, and in cities devastated by Hurricane Katrina:

I stand by this man. I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers, and rubble, and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message: that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound—with the most powerfully staged photo ops in the world.

Colbert wrapped up the portion of his monologue specifically directed at Bush by parodying his energy policy. He then used Laura Bush's reading initiative as a springboard to mock-criticize books for being "elitist", and harshly criticized the White House Press Corps—hosts of the event—and the media in general. Addressing the audience, he remarked:

Over the last five years, you people were so good—over tax cuts, WMD intelligence, the effect of global warming. We Americans didn't want to know, and you had the courtesy not to try to find out, And then you write, "Oh, they're just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic." First of all, that is a terrible metaphor. This administration is not sinking. This administration is soaring. If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg!

For the remainder of his speech, Colbert joked about other people in the audience, including Peter Pace, Antonin Scalia, John McCain, and Joe Wilson. During this section, he made another reference to global warming while talking about interviewing Jesse Jackson: "You can ask him anything, but he's going to say what he wants, at the pace that he wants. It's like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is."

Colbert received a chilly reception from the audience. His jokes were often met with silence and muttering, although some in the audience, such as Scalia, laughed heartily as Colbert teased them. This was in stark contrast to the warm reception accorded to a skit featuring Bush and his look-alike, Steve Bridges, which immediately preceded Colbert's monologue.

At the end of his monologue, Colbert introduced what he characterized as an "audition" video to become the new White House Press Secretary—Scott McClellan had recently left the position. The video spliced clips of difficult questions from the White House press corps with responses from Colbert as Press Secretary. Colbert's podium included controls marked "eject", "Gannon" (a reference to erstwhile White House reporter Jeff Gannon, who was suspected of asking planted questions), and "volume", which he used to silence a critical question from journalist David Gregory. The video continued with Colbert fleeing the briefing room and the White House, only to be pursued by White House correspondent Helen Thomas, who had been a vocal critic of the Bush administration. At one point, Colbert picks up an emergency phone and explains that Thomas "won't stop asking why we invaded Iraq". The dispatcher responds with, "Hey, why did we invade Iraq?" The entire second half of the video is a spoof of horror film clichés, particularly the film Westworld, with melodramatic music accompanying Thomas's slow, unwavering pursuit of Colbert, and Colbert loudly screaming "No!" at intervals. Widely available online, a portion of the mock audition tape aired on The Colbert Report on May 2, 2006.

Although President Bush shook Colbert's hand after his presentation, several of Bush's aides and supporters walked out during Colbert's speech, and one former aide commented that the President had "that look that he's ready to blow".