The following is a list of recurring sketches from the NBC late night talk show Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. The sketches feature host Jimmy Fallon, house band The Roots, and several of the show's writers; also, some feature celebrity cameos.
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“Love’s boat has been shattered against the life of everyday. You and I are quits, and it’s useless to draw up a list of mutual hurts, sorrows, and pains.”
—Vladimir Mayakovsky (1893–1930)
“The advice of their elders to young men is very apt to be as unreal as a list of the hundred best books.”
—Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. (1841–1935)
“I was brought up in the great tradition of the late nineteenth century: that a writer never complains, never explains and never disdains.”
—James A. Michener (b. 1907)
“Don’t you know there are 200 temperance women in this county who control 200 votes. Why does a woman work for temperance? Because she’s tired of liftin’ that besotted mate of hers off the floor every Saturday night and puttin’ him on the sofa so he won’t catch cold. Tonight we’re for temperance. Help yourself to them cloves and chew them, chew them hard. We’re goin’ to that festival tonight smelling like a hot mince pie.”
—Laurence Stallings (1894–1968)
“You want to get Capone? Here’s how you get him: he pulls a knife, you pull a gun, he sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. It’s the Chicago way and that’s how you get Capone.”
—David Mamet, U.S. screenwriter, and Brian DePalma. Jimmy Malone (Sean Connery)
“Giles Lacey: I say, old boy, I’m trying to find exactly what your wife does do.
Maxim de Winter: She sketches a little.
Giles Lacey: Sketches. Oh not this modern stuff, I hope. You know, portrait of a lamp shade upside down to represent a soul in torment.”
—Robert E. Sherwood (1896–1955)