Fundamentals
BDSM has become an umbrella term for certain kinds of erotic behavior between consenting adults, but there is little that unites all its disparate subcultures.
Terminology for roles varies widely within the various BDSM subcultures. Top and Dominant are widely recognized for those partner(s) in the relationship or activity who are, respectively, the physically active or controlling participants. Bottom and Submissive are widely recognized terms for those partner(s) in the relationship or activity who are, respectively, the physically receptive or controlled participants. The interaction between Tops and Bottoms—where physical and/or mental control of the Bottom is surrendered to the Top—is sometime known as power exchange, whether in the context of an encounter or a relationship.
BDSM actions can often take place during a specific period of time agreed to by both parties, referred to as "play", "a scene" or "a session". Participants usually derive pleasure from this even though many of the practices—such as inflicting pain or humiliation or being restrained—would be unpleasant under normal circumstances. Sexual intercourse—be it oral, anal or vaginal—may occur within a session; but it is not essential. Such explicit sexual interaction is seen only rarely in public play spaces, and it is sometimes specifically banned by the rules of a party or playspace.
The fundamental principles for the exercise of BDSM require that it should be performed with the informed consent of all involved parties. Since the 1980s, many practitioners and organizations have adopted the motto (originally from the statement of purpose of GMSMA – a gay SM activist organization) "Safe, sane and consensual", commonly abbreviated as "SSC," which means that everything is based on safe activities, that all participants be of sufficiently sound/sane mind to consent, and that all participants do consent. It is mutual consent which makes a clear legal and ethical distinction between BDSM and such crimes as sexual assault or domestic violence.
Some BDSM practitioners prefer a code of behavior that differs from "SSC" and described as "Risk Aware Consensual Kink" (RACK), indicating a preference of a style in which the individual responsibility of the involved parties is emphasized more strongly, with each participant being responsible for his or her own well-being. Advocates of RACK argue that SSC can hamper discussion of risk because no activity is truly "safe," and that discussion of even low-risk possibilities is necessary for truly informed consent. Further, they argue that setting a discrete line between "safe" and "not-safe" activities ideologically denies consenting adults the right to evaluate risks vs rewards for themselves (and that some adults will be drawn to certain activities regardless of the risk), and that BDSM play – particularly higher-risk play or edgeplay – should be treated with the same regard as extreme sports; with both respect and the demand that practitioners educate themselves and practice to decrease risk. RACK may be seen as focusing primarily upon awareness and informed consent, rather than accepted safe practices. Consent is the most important criterion here. The consent and compliance for a sadomasochistic situation can be granted only by people who are able to judge the potential results. For their consent, they must have relevant information (extent to which the scene will go, potential risks, if a safeword will be used, what that is, and so on.) at hand and the necessary mental capacity to judge. The resulting consent and understanding is occasionally summarized in a written "contract"; an agreement of what can and cannot take place.
In general, BDSM play is usually structured such that it is possible for the consenting partner to withdraw his or her consent during a scene; for example, by using a safeword that was agreed on in advance. Use of the agreed safeword (or occasionally a "safe symbol" such as dropping a ball or ringing a bell) is seen by some as an explicit withdrawal of consent. Failure to honor a safeword is considered serious misconduct and could even change the sexual consent situation into a crime, depending on the relevant law, since the bottom has explicitly revoked his or her consent to any actions which follow the use of the safeword (see Legal status). For other scenes, particularly in established relationships, a safeword may be agreed to signify a warning ("this is getting too intense") rather than explicit withdrawal of consent; and a few choose not to use a safeword at all. In some scenes it may be impossible for consent to be withdrawn in the middle of a scene – or the bottom may have the ability to revoke consent for a relationship as a whole, but not for a particular scene. This is sometimes the case for "punishment scenes" between master/slave couples or for some extreme or edgeplay scenes which may include abductions, rape play, or interrogation. This scene dynamic may be referred to as "consensual nonconsent."
Read more about this topic: Leash (BDSM)