(He'll Never Be An) Ol' Man River - Song

Song

The song opens with the refrain I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix and, as the song continues, talking about a wide variety of celebrities who died due to some sort of excess. As the song progresses, it becomes clear that the addiction is not about actually doing these things himself; rather, his addiction is vicariously following celebrities and their excesses and premature deaths. As with a number of TISM songs, it is a comment on the fairly vapid state of popular culture.

Example verse:

I drank the slab that Bon Scott drunk;
Injected some of Hendrix' junk;
I booked a seat on Lynyrd Skynyrd's plane;
Mama Cass's sandwich? I ate the same!

And ending in ...

Now I'm bored and there's no stoppin'
I need another celeb to fill a coffin
Where will I get my next drug action?
Odds on it'll be Michael Jackson

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