Groo - The Characters

The Characters

Groo (the epithet "the Wanderer" is informal and rarely mentioned within the stories) first appeared as a parody of the brutal sword & sorcery heroes who were popular at the time of his creation in the 1970s, especially Conan the Barbarian as presented in Marvel Comics. Groo is an ugly large-nosed buffoon of unsurpassed stupidity who constantly misunderstands his surroundings. Possessed of superlative skills in swordsmanship (the only task at which he's remotely competent) he delights in combat but otherwise is a peaceable and remarkably honest fellow who tries to make his way through life as a mercenary or by working odd jobs. Unfortunately he is also indiscriminate in the use of his battle skills (prone to joyously leaping into any fray before attempting to ascertain the reasons for the fight, or even who is on what side) and incredibly accident-prone, and despite generally good intentions causes mass destruction wherever he goes. Most of his adventures end with him oblivious to the mayhem he has wrought, or fleeing an angry mob. As a result, his penchant for destruction has become so widely known and feared that just the news of Groo approaching is sometimes enough to cause chaos when the population reacts to the impending disaster. Groo occasionally meets with respect and good fortune, but it does not last. Businesses, towns, civilizations and cultures have all been unwittingly destroyed by Groo. Such is Groo's incompetence that so much as stepping onto a ship (except in Rufferto's company) will cause it to sink. In issue 100 of the Groo series, volume 2, Groo learned how to read.

The only thing that has kept Groo alive through all of his adventures is his excellent swordsmanship. Groo has slain entire armies on his own with nothing more than his swords, which appear to be a pair of katanas. Groo loves these frays, as he calls them, and often charges into the melee with a cry of "Now Groo does what Groo does best!", similar to Wolverine's catchphrase "I'm the best at what I do, but what I do isn't very nice". So great is his love for battle that Groo seldom bothers to consider which side he is fighting for, and goes on to slay soldiers from either side. Even when Groo does join battle intending to fight for a particular side, he is prone to forget which side he's on, or be tricked into fighting his unfortunate allies.

In all of his travels, Groo has encountered literally thousands of characters. However, there is an assortment of recurring characters:

• Captain Ahax, who has, over time, become wise to Groo's effect on ships. Not that it helps him or his sanity.
• Arba and Dakarba, a pair of witches who have suffered much trying to take advantage of Groo. They have repeatedly been stripped of their powers because of him. Put their names together and they spell "Abra-kadabra" backwards.
• Arcadio, a handsome warrior, with an especially pronounced chin, who is considered the greatest hero of his time. He has often enlisted Groo as his "lackey", and while Groo has succeeded in his quests time and again, Arcadio always gets the credit.
• Chakaal, a beautiful female warrior who is Groo's equal in swordplay. Chakaal is strong, noble, and wise, and Groo is madly in love with her. She is as well known as a hero and skilled warrior as Groo is for being a walking disaster, and travels the land seeking people in need of her help. Though she respects Groo's prowess as a warrior, Chakaal is all too aware of his incompetence in other areas, as well as his general stupidity and lack of social graces, and finds Groo at best tolerable when she is in need of his sword, and contemptible otherwise. Romantically speaking, she considers his idiotic advances repulsive, and does her best to ignore them, though she is not above using Groo's feelings for her to convince him to help her in her quests, and will often use Groo as a decoy or sacrificial lamb.
• Granny Groo, Groo's gypsy grandmother. Granny Groo often tries to use her grandson to aid her in her moneymaking schemes, but invariably ends up giving him a good spanking when he fails.
• Grativo the Wizard, who often punishes Arba and Dakarba for their failures.
• Grooella, Groo's sister. While she greatly resembles her brother, the two of them are totally different: Grooella is a Queen. However, her occasional reliance on her brother for aid has spelled disaster every time, and she despises him. Grooella had long, beautiful blond hair as a child, but one of Groo's "games" (which nearly always ended in the injury of at least one other child) damaged it so that it became black and frizzy. (The Sage developed a one-time-only formula to restore her hair, but Groo "erred" again and rendered the damage permanent.)
• The Minstrel, a singing jester who speaks exclusively in rhyming couplets. He often likes to sing of Groo's deeds, but Groo seldom appreciates his unflattering descriptions of his bungling. The Minstrel seldom appeared in later issues, due to the difficulty of creating his dialogue - "Mark takes a stance, and if by chance / The Minstrel doesn't vanish, / Then Mark will go, and Sergio / can write this stuff in Spanish."
• Pal and Drumm, two con men. The diminutive Pal is always looking for easy money, but his hulking partner Drumm is not very bright. Their dealings with Groo have often left them in trouble with the people they were scamming. Their names are a play on palindrome.
• Pipil Khan, a short and short-tempered conqueror who speaks like Elmer Fudd. He correctly views Groo as the cause of many of his later attempts at conquest ending in disaster, but having never met the man personally, imagines Groo to be a far more imposing figure than he actually is. When he finally meets the real man who's haunted the latter years of his life, the shock kills him.
• Rufferto, Groo's dog and inseparable companion. Rufferto ran away from his boring life as a spoiled and pampered royal pet to seek adventure, and endeared himself to Groo. In Rufferto's eyes, Groo is a hero and a tactical genius. Initially, Groo viewed Rufferto as a potential meal but eventually came to regard him as his faithful companion. Groo can also safely board a ship in Rufferto's presence. His collar is immensely valuable.
• The Sage, a wise old man who is usually never far from Groo. The Sage often attempts to give Groo sound advice, but Groo's stupidity often means that the advice is misinterpreted and only makes situations worse. The Sage is never without his dog Mulch. The Sage has known Groo since childhood and often tells his tales for all who are willing to listen. In a behind-the-scenes episode, it is suggested that Aragonés had hired actor Robert Goulet to pose as the Sage. During Groo's quest for a magical amulet, it is shown that apart from Rufferto, The Sage is the only character in the Grooniverse who genuinely counts Groo as a friend.
• Taranto, a corrupt general who has had his plans for glory dashed by Groo several times, and is obsessed with killing the wanderer. Groo can never remember whether he is friends with Taranto, or if Taranto wants to kill him.
• Weaver and Scribe, a successful author and his amanuensis, who look suspiciously like Groo’s own Evanier and Sakai.
• The Witch of Kaan, an eccentric old hag who always has a potion ready for anybody who visits her.