"Columbus Was a Dope" is a science fiction short story by Robert A. Heinlein. It was first published in the May 1947 issue of Startling Stories. It later appeared in two of Heinlein's collections, The Menace from Earth (1959), and Expanded Universe (1980).
In the story, bar patrons and a bartender debate building a starship. One favors outer space exploration as an obvious analogy of Columbus's voyages, the other insists that Columbus was a dope and should have stayed home. The punch line is that the debate takes place on the moon.
Famous quotes containing the words columbus was, columbus and/or dope:
“If Columbus was the first to discover the islands, Americus Vespucius and Cabot, and the Puritans, and we their descendants, have discovered only the shores of America.”
—Henry David Thoreau (1817–1862)
“The only history is a mere question of one’s struggle inside oneself. But that is the joy of it. One need neither discover Americas nor conquer nations, and yet one has as great a work as Columbus or Alexander, to do.”
—D.H. (David Herbert)
“If you think dope is for kicks and for thrills, you’re out of your mind. There are more kicks to be had in a good case of paralytic polio or by living in an iron lung. If you think you need stuff to play music or sing, you’re crazy. It can fix you so you can’t play nothing or sing nothing.”
—Billie Holiday (1915–1959)