Colonel Kurt Von Strohm

Colonel Kurt Von Strohm is a fictional character in the BBC sitcom 'Allo 'Allo!, which ran from 1982 to 1992. He was played by the actor Richard Marner.

Von Strohm is a Colonel, which is similar to the rank of the Oberst in the Wehrmacht. He is the town Commandant in Nouvion, and often visits the Café René with his assistant Captain Hans Geering and his secretary Private Helga Geerhart. In the later series, after Hans goes missing, he mostly comes with Lieutenant Gruber.

The Colonel enjoys special treatment by the waitress Yvette Carte-Blanche in exchange for paraffin, gasoline, sugar and butter. He also forces René Artois to hide some silver, the first cuckoo-clock ever made, and the world famous The Fallen Madonna by van Klomp (or "The Fallen Madonna With The Big Boobies") from Herr Flick of the Gestapo. These valuable artifacts were found in the town's chateau. Von Strohm wants to sell them after the war to have a good pension, but he has to share with the captain, the secretary, with René Artois the café-owner and later on with Gruber. To increase his pension, he also plans to sell the well known Vase with Twelve Sunflowers by Vincent Van Gogh (or "The Cracked Vase With The Big Daisies"), which was found in the café. Its original owner is Madame Edith's mother Madame Fanny La Fan. She got it as a present from the nowadays popular artist.

But the Colonel fears the Gestapo and his superior General Von Klinkerhoffen, who is a ruthless man. He orders to make forgeries of the paintings, so Herr Flick can send them to Hitler as a birthday gift for Eva Braun. But the Gestapo officer also wants to get rich, so he makes more forgeries. The General is also rapacious, and wants to get his hands on the paintings too. Later Lieutenant Gruber is also involved, as he is ordered to make copies. The artifacts were hidden in various places, like in knockwursts sausages, in wardrobes, in René's cellar, in his kitchen, at the old sawmill, etc.

But the paintings were never sold. In the last episode Gruber finds The Fallen Madonna by mistake in the statue of René. By this time the Madonna has only one big boobie. But Helga possesses the other one, so the painting is complete again. In this episode we also find out that many years after the war Gruber married Helga and hired Von Strohm as his chaffeur.