Ala Kachuu - Examples

Examples

In one model of bride kidnapping present in Kyrgyzstan, the young man decides he wishes to marry and asks his parents to pick him out a suitable bride, or is told by his parents that it is time he settled down and that they have found someone of the right background and attributes. (In this sense, it may be similar to an arranged marriage, although the arranging is all on one side.) The prospective groom and his male relatives or friends or both abduct the girl (in the old nomadic days, on horseback; now often by car) and take her to the family home. Once there, the man's relatives may attempt to convince the woman to accept the marriage, and to place a white wedding scarf (jooluk) on her head to symbolize her agreement. They may do this by pointing out the advantages of the union, such as the wealth of their smallholding, to show her what she would gain by joining their family. Families may use force or threaten to curse the woman if she leaves, an effective threat in a superstitious country. Some families will keep the girl hostage for several days to break her will. Others will let her go if she remains defiant; she may, for example, refuse to sit down or to eat, as a sign that she is refusing the proffered hospitality. During this period, the groom typically does not see the bride until she has agreed to marry or at least has agreed to stay. The kidnapped woman's family may also become involved, either urging the woman to stay (particularly if the marriage is believed socially acceptable or advantageous for the prospective bride and her family), or opposing the marriage on various grounds and helping to liberate the woman.

In other models of bride kidnapping in Kyrgyzstan and other areas of Central Asia, the woman may be a complete stranger to the man prior to the abduction. Sometimes the groom and his family, rather than selecting a particular young woman to kidnap, decide on a household; that way they can still kidnap one of the sisters if the woman they desire is not home. As in other societies, often the men who resort to bride kidnapping are socially undesirable for a variety of reasons; they may be more likely to be violent, have a criminal history, or to be substance abusers.

The bride kidnapping process sometimes includes rape. Even when sex does not take place, once a woman has been kept overnight, even for a single night, her virginity is put in doubt. With her honor disgraced, she will have very few other options for marriage. Thus, after one night of capture, the woman is culturally compelled to marry the man. Such immense social stigma is attached to a refusal to marry after a kidnap that the kidnapped woman usually feels that she has no choice but to agree, and some of those who refuse even commit suicide after the kidnapping.