William Byrd II - Personal Relationships

Personal Relationships

Upon Byrd’s return to Virginia in 1705, he found that the colonies lacked the social vibrancy that he had found in England. Therefore, he began his search for a wife. His goal was not only to find companionship, but also to increase his wealth. Lucy Parke was an obvious candidate for Byrd’s affections. Not only was she beautiful and wealthy, but her father, Colonel Daniel Parke II, was also the governor of the Leeward Islands.

As Lucy had already reached the age of 18, her mother was very concerned that she would not find a husband. This was partially due to the humiliation of the Colonel’s many romantic affairs and his stinginess. When Byrd wrote a letter to Lucy’s parents asking to court her, they immediately accepted. Byrd knew easily how to woo Lucy, and wrote passionate letters to her, exclaiming his love with poetic phrases, such as, "Fidelia, possess the empire of my heart" (Treckel 133). The two were soon wed.

Soon after their marriage, Lucy found her husband to be incapable of the intimacy she desired in the relationship. While Lucy desired an emotional and intellectual relationship, William was able only to provide sexual intimacy. In fact, like many men of the time, including Lucy’s father, Byrd was sexually unfaithful to his wife. Lucy often turned a blind eye to her husband’s affairs, only getting openly upset when his intimacy with others was acted upon publicly.

Lucy and William often fought about other matters, in particular, the running of the household. Byrd wanted a patriarchal household, while Lucy wanted to have some power over household matters. The two disagreed on whose power reigned over the various parts of the estate, and their fights were often heated. Lucy refused to conform to the stereotypical role of the submissive wife, and wished to assert her power over slaves and servants. Byrd often publicly rebuked her when she acted upon this desire, undermining her authority.

Byrd also required absolute sovereignty over the library. To Byrd, the library was a very intimate and personal place, and one in which Lucy did not belong. He disliked her entering the library at all, and loathed her tendency to borrow books when Byrd was not home. It would appear that Byrd feared his wife’s gaining of knowledge, and saw her entrance into his library as a threat to his manhood.

The biggest arguments that William and Lucy had were over money. Lucy had a taste for fine fabrics and imported household items. Byrd found her purchases to be frivolous and often had her sell brand new items. It is likely that Lucy hoped to be able to spend more of her husband’s money, having grown up in the household with her stingy father.

Despite the couple’s differences, there is no doubt that the two were very much in love. It is quite possible that Byrd focused on their sexual relationship because it was the only way that he knew to express his love for his wife. Lucy’s desire for intimacy makes obvious her love for William. When Lucy died of smallpox in 1715, Byrd suffered greatly. He blamed himself for her death, telling friends and family that he felt God was punishing him for his pride in his wife’s beauty and likeability.

Byrd remarried Maria Taylor eight years later. Maria was the exact opposite of Lucy. She was submissive to Byrd’s power over the household, and never disobeyed a single command that he gave her. She was well-mannered and epitomized the English lady that Byrd desired. However, while she kept the household in good order and performed the tasks that Byrd required of her, the relationship lacked the passion that Byrd had in his first marriage.