Sketch
The names given in the routine for the players at each position are:
- First Base: Who
- Second Base: What
- Third Base: I Don't Know
- Left field: Why
- Center field: Because
- Pitcher: Tomorrow
- Catcher: Today
- Shortstop: I Don't Care/I Don't Give a Darn/I Don't Give a Damn
The name of the shortstop is not given until the very end of the routine, and the right fielder is never identified. In the Selchow and Righter board game, the right fielder's name is "Nobody".
At one point in the routine, Costello thinks that Naturally is the first baseman:
Abbott: You throw the ball to first base.
Costello: Then who gets it?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: Now you've got it.
Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally.
Abbott: You don't! You throw it to Who!
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: Well, that's it—say it that way.
Costello: That's what I said.
Abbott: You did not.
Costello: I said I throw the ball to Naturally.
Abbott: You don't! You throw it to Who!
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott's explanations leave Costello hopelessly confused and infuriated, until the end of the routine when Costello finally appears to catch on.
Costello: Now I throw the ball to first base, whoever it is drops the ball, so the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow—a triple play.
Abbott: Yeah, it could be.
Costello: Another guy gets up and it's a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know. He's on third, and I don't care!
Abbott: What was that?
Costello: I said, I DON'T CARE!
Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop!
That is the most commonly heard ending. "I Don't Give a Damn" also turned up on occasion, depending on the perceived sensibilities of the audience.
The skit was usually performed on the team's radio series at the start of the baseball season. In one instance it serves as a climax for a broadcast which begins with Costello receiving a telegram from Joe DiMaggio asking Costello to take over for him due to his injury.
Read more about this topic: Who's On First?
Famous quotes containing the word sketch:
“We criticize a man or a book most sharply when we sketch out their ideal.”
—Friedrich Nietzsche (1844–1900)
“the vagabond began
To sketch a face that well might buy the soul of any man.
Then, as he placed another lock upon the shapely head,
With a fearful shriek, he leaped and fell across the
picture—dead.”
—Hugh Antoine D’Arcy (1843–1925)