Waldorf Salad (Fawlty Towers) - Plot

Plot

Dinner time is exceptionally busy, and several guests are dissatisfied with the quality of the service and the food. One guest, Mr. Johnston, and his wife complain that her starter prawns are "off", and they wish it to be deducted from their bill, even though she has eaten half. Another couple, meanwhile, have been neglected. When Basil checks on them, however, they do not even mention it. Meanwhile, Sybil lazily talks to one of the guests (who himself appears not to be enjoying her conversation), leaving everyone else to cope. Just as Basil is about to serve Johnston with his lamb, an elegant Englishwoman, Mrs. Hamilton, then arrives to check in, forcing Johnston to collect the lamb himself. A loud and short-tempered American man follows Mrs. Hamilton in, complaining about the weather and the journey from London, including the size of the cars and having to drive on "the wrong side of the road" (and referring to the M5 as a "little backstreet"). The patriotic Basil is irate and makes derogatory comments about the man to Mrs. Hamilton prompting her to introduce him as her husband, Harry, forcing Basil into cringeworthy backtracking. Mr. Hamilton demands a proper meal, even though the kitchen is closed, and also insists on freshening up first. Mr. Hamilton bribes Basil with £20 to keep the chef on so the kitchen will stay open.

Basil pockets the money and offers a lesser amount to Terry to stay. Terry claims to have a karate lesson, but eventually agrees to stay. However, Polly inadvertently reveals that his appointment was a night-out with her, Manuel and his Finnish girlfriend. Outraged, Basil reclaims the money and sends him off, planning to cook himself. After arriving, the Hamiltons both order screwdrivers, a drink Basil has never heard of. Harry then confuses him by asking for a Waldorf salad, even though it is not on the menu, followed by two rare steaks. Hamilton is annoyed when Basil does not know what it is and must correct Basil when he asks for the ingredients (which are celery, apples, walnuts, and grapes, topped with mayonnaise), after saying that the hotel is "out of Waldorfs", but demands it all the same. Unable to find the ingredients, he panics, even after Sybil assures him she will help. Upon learning the namesake of the salad (the Waldorf Hotel in New York), Basil tries unsuccessfully to persuade Mr. Hamilton to order a "Ritz salad", an unappetising combination of ingredients that he knows are in the kitchen: namely apples, grapefruit and potatoes in mayonnaise. When Basil offers an overblown excuse as to why the salad cannot be made, Hamilton becomes even more annoyed and encourages Basil to bust Terry's chops, while changing his order to a green salad. However, Sybil has already prepared a Waldorf salad and presents it to him. While the Hamiltons are enjoying their salads, Basil is pretending to give Terry a tongue lashing in the kitchen. Upon discovering the Waldorf salad has been served to Mr. Hamilton, an angry Basil takes the salad and pretends to demand an explanation from Terry, and sustains a punch in the face from Sybil when he refuses to give it back. She then orders Basil to get the Hamiltons their wine.

The Hamiltons finish their starters and seem satisfied. Basil, however, is unable to leave things alone and irritates them by reading a letter supposedly from Terry, placing the blame for all the mess-ups on him. Unfortunately, the unattended steaks begin to burn, prompting him to return to the kitchen and pretend to yell at Terry again. However, Hamilton follows him in to berate Terry himself and discovers Basil yelling at empty space. Enraged, Mr. Hamilton announces that they are leaving and confronts Basil in the foyer. In front of the other guests, Hamilton berates Basil for his lack of professionalism—calling him "the British Tourist Board's answer to Donald Duck"—and brands the hotel a disgrace. Basil challenges Hamilton by asking Major Gowen, Miss Tibbs and Miss Gatsby if they are satisfied, and some others who are unwilling to complain, and all claim to be satisfied. As Basil is returning Hamilton's insults with his own, Mr. Johnston comes forward and complains about how he was neglected and his wife's prawns were off. The other guests then join in with their complaints. Hamilton laughs triumphantly and peanuts his tie. Basil finally snaps and yells at the guests, comparing them to Nazis and then ordering them to leave. When Basil tells Sybil that either he or the guests must go, Sybil challenges him and seeing the look in her eye, Basil gets scared and decides that he will leave. Discovering that it is raining and realizing he has nowhere to go, he returns to the hotel to ask for a room and, remembering Sybil's laziness at the beginning, demands breakfast in bed complete with a Waldorf salad and "lashings of hot screwdriver".