Two A-Holes - Target Lady

Target Lady

Kristen Wiig plays a nerdy, dowdy, none too bright middle-aged woman who is extremely proud to be a Target cashier. While she has an awestruck reverence for her employer, she seems unable to comprehend some very basic facts about them. For example, she utterly cannot see that Target's logo is supposed to represent a stylized target, and she refers to the logo as "the Target circles". She also speaks with a weird, unidentifiable accent, which involves, among other quirks, pronouncing most long vowel sounds (such as "a", "e", and "o") as "r" or "er" - for instance, "toilet" becomes "turlet". In the Dec 16, 2006 sketch, when Justin Timberlake's character complains that his lips are chapped and swollen, she remarks that it makes him look like "Erngerlerner Jerlerr". She, in fact, pronounces "Target" as "Terget".

Her primary shtick is that as she rings each customer up, she will become enamored with one of the items they are purchasing and run off into the store to find one for herself, leaving the customer hanging until she returns. She has a particular fascination with candles (which she pronounces "kerndels"), and any customer having candles among their purchases (which happens in most of the sketches) will send the Target Lady into a giddy, babbling flutter.

Appearances:

• December 3, 2005: Host Dane Cook
• January 21, 2006: Host Peter Sarsgaard
• December 16, 2006: Host Justin Timberlake
• February 3, 2007: Host Drew Barrymore Note: Barrymore plays a Target cashier trainee who is remarkably like the Target Lady, arguably making her the Target Lady's protege.
• March 15, 2008: Host Jonah Hill
• November 1, 2008: Host Ben Affleck
• May 9th, 2009: Host Justin Timberlake Note: In this installment of the sketch, Timberlake wore drag to play a female customer and friend of the Target Lady named "Peg". In Timberlake's previous appearance in a "Target Lady" sketch, he played the more common nerdy male coworker with whom the Target Lady had a repressed romantic interest.
• January 14, 2012: Host Daniel Radcliffe
• May 11, 2013: Host Kristen Wiig