Trigger Happy TV - Recurring Sketches

Recurring Sketches

• The signature sketch of the series sees Joly innocuously present in a public location, often a place of relative quiet such as an art gallery, a library or an internet cafe, when a loud Nokia ring tone sounds. After a moment's pause, he lifts an oversized model of a mobile phone into view and shouts "Hello?!" into it. He then proceeds to yell conversational dialogue about where he is and what he's doing. Apart from an occasion where he was "On a boat in Holland!", this was usually while he slowly exits the area. It almost always concluded with him saying some variation of "Yeah, it's rubbish...ciao!"

The status of this sketch premise as synonymous with the series, and arguably Dom Joly's eventual boredom with it, was reflected in the final episode, where it served as the final sketch. It began with him sitting on a bench at a train station, smoking, beneath a sign reading "The End". He looks somewhat downbeat, with the phone resting beside him. In time the familiar ring tone sounds and he lifts the phone only to speak in a low and measured voice "Hello? No... No... I can't talk now, bye." and soon a fade to black.

• A random customer about to enter a grocery store is told by Joly (dressed up in a flamboyant suit, flanked by glamorous women and beneath a celebratory banner) that they are the millionth customer and anything they can get in their shopping trolley in a one minute "dash" will be free. The customer proceeds to speed through the store filling up their cart while he and the other actors removed the set and quickly left.
• Joly is seen dressed in a stereotype burglar costume and asks a random passerby to aide him in some apparently criminal endeavour. Invariably after completing his "crime" he'd start yelling his joy at the success and implicate the passerby as an accomplice, while departing ("escaping") the scene. One instance saw him shouting from the upstairs window of a house asking a passerby to put a ladder back up for him and hold it while he climbs down (complete with a bag marked "Swag"), upon reaching the bottom he runs away screaming "We burgled the house! Me and him just burgled the house!", leaving the passerby holding the ladder.
• Joly, dressed in authentic costumes, would walk up to people sitting at a table or bench, often outside a restaurant, and offer (usually in a mock-foreign accent and broken English) to perform some form of entertainment, most commonly play a musical instrument, sing or perform a dance. Whether they accepted or refused the offer, he'd proceed to give a performance of terrible quality and, however they reacted, hold out a hand in expectation of a tip. On one occasion, Joly, wearing a porkpie hat and white jumpsuit, walks up to a couple sitting on a bench in a park. Despite no encouragement, he proceeded to do a terrible Morris dance. When finished, he calmly places his hand out as if asking for change.
• Joly is seen in a laundrette with boxer shorts and an undershirt on, and wearing a hockey mask on his face, à la Jason Voorhees. He stuffs a bloody jumpsuit into the washer.
• Outside an incongruous location (such as a pornography shop or public toilet), a random customer is seen to enter and quickly Joly sets up outside in flamboyant suit and wig, holding a microphone, flanked by glamorous women holding champagne, a couple of men with brass horn instruments, photographers, and all beneath a large banner, faced by a television crew. When the customer leaves the shop, fanfare erupts, cameras flash and Joly yells congratulations to the person for being the millionth customer.
• Joly stands in front of an enormous picture of himself plastered against a wall that says "Do not trust this man!", but still manages to get passersby to talk to him and do things for him. In one memorable sketch, somebody actually comes up to him and asks him for directions.
• In Trafalgar Square, people sit down to have Joly, dressed as a French artist, paint their portrait. Rather than actually painting the portrait, he paints a comical phrase or picture on the canvas and walks away, leaving the customer sitting in their pose. Examples include him painting "I need to sing" before picking up a nearby guitar and strumming away across the square and "Goodbye cruel world" before climbing into the nearby fountain and floating face-down.
• Persons are stopped at random on the street by Joly, accompanied by a cameraman and boom operator, and asked to take a blindfolded taste test of a new foodstuff or drink. Once the person is blindfolded and given a sample in each hand, he and his crew silently but quickly walked away leaving the person standing there. Sometimes, a noticeably different crew replaced the original one.
• Joly is in the process of conducting a streetside interview with a British celebrity, but becomes increasingly distracted before abruptly departing. Distractions took the form of his own dissatisfaction with the job (walked off after expressing it), an ardent fan who kisses him and dares him to chase after her for more (he pauses for a moment then runs off after her), a persistent busker constantly getting in the frame (chases after him having smashed his guitar and threatening to do worse) and his kidnapping right in front of the interviewee by a van of hoodlums.
• Joly, disguised in trench coat, dark glasses and hat plays the role of a KGB spy. He would approach a random member of the public and usually uttered a code word or phrase ("You are red fox?") in an apparent attempt to confirm they were the contact he was supposed to meet, and tried to hand them a briefcase. The most elaborate set up involved an unsuspecting phone-box user becoming the centerpiece of a bizarre money exchange laced with secret codes involving a "nun" and a "doctor".
• Joly, dressed as a Swiss tourist, holding a Phrasebook, asks a passerby a question in comical and especially bad broken english, such as "Where may I go to empty my bottom?" (go to the toilet). Some people laugh; others genuinely try and help him.
• Various sketches involving actors in animal costumes copulating, urinating, or violently assaulting others, in the presence of ordinary people. The sketches with animal costumes, especially the violent ones, are arguably second only to the mobile phone sketches as a "signature sketch."
• Other examples were the "___-a-gram" services, wherein Joly delivers an actor in costume to an innocuous business location (often a laundromat) and the actor proceeds to stand in the corner, looking completely forlorn and sighing often after he leaves.
• Assuming the role of a park-keeper, Joly attempts to politely vilify elderly park goers, all-but accusing them of behaving like young hooligans. Each sketch starts with the park-keeper saying that he's been "tipped off" and that someone "matching your description" was acting improperly (setting off fireworks, doing graffiti, joyriding, etc.) When the elderly victim pleads innocence, the park-keeper will sometimes persist, but usually make a highly qualified acceptance, politely by strongly implying he doesn't believe them but as he can't prove anything he'll let them off this time.
• Joly, dressed as a traffic warden, accuses motorists stopped in traffic or at traffic lights of being illegally parked and proceeds to ticket them. In this character (an over-zealous jobsworth essentially), his oft-repeated mantra is "not on my patch, never". Other targets included a street cleaner who was forced to move his wheelbarrow of equipment away from double-yellow lines, a bus which Joly attempted to ticket for illegal parking when it is at a bus stop and a taxi, which he himself hailed to a stop.
• Joly and other actors wearing "fat suits" and trying to fit into tight places, such as a telephone booth or narrow alleyway. One memorable example included Joly and another actor in fat suits holding up an entire escalator full of people.