Plot
Bart and Milhouse torment a tourist named Howell Huser, who is then chased out of town by bullies Dolph, Jimbo, and Kearney. Huser is later revealed to be a media personality, and he appears on a network's morning television show warning tourists against visiting Springfield and giving it his lowest rating for any American location (six out of ten). The Springfield tourism business collapses and Mayor Quimby holds an emergency meeting at the town hall. After many senseless suggestions, Lisa suggests that Springfield legalize same-sex marriage to entice visitors to their town.
Hundreds of homosexual couples soon arrive to Springfield. However, Reverend Lovejoy insists that the Bible forbids same-sex marriage and refuses to marry any gay couples. After discovering ministers are paid $200 per couple, Homer abandons his opposition to the process and decides to become a minister himself with help from the online "e-Piscopal" Church. He marries every gay couple in town, and then puts up a sign saying "Will marry anyone to anything." While debating the issue with Lovejoy on the television show Smartline, Homer makes a case for gay marriage and mockingly joins the Bible and Lovejoy in matrimony—adding that Lovejoy is the wife and that he owes Homer $200.
Meanwhile, at the Simpson family's home, Patty comes out of the closet, saying that she is in love with a pro golfer named Veronica and asking Homer to perform the ceremony. This makes Marge extremely uncomfortable, even though the evidence was always there. Patty gets angry and points out that Marge acts very "liberal" about the issue but cannot accept her sister's sexuality, and says she hopes to see Marge at her wedding. Before the wedding, Marge accidentally discovers Veronica is actually a man. Happily she decides to keep quiet about it knowing that Patty will be marrying a man. But Marge is so moved by Patty's heartfelt declaration of love for Veronica during the ceremony that she reveals Veronica's Adam's apple. "Veronica" explains that as the straight Leslie Robin Swisher, he posed as a woman to get onto the LPGA golf tour. He then asks Patty if she will still marry him, but she declines. Marge tells Patty that she has learned a lesson and that she now accepts her sexuality, and they hug. Patty and her sister Selma then go to leave a bag at the airport unattended, as a way to meet security personnel they can date.
Read more about this topic: There's Something About Marrying
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