The Twinkie Squad - Epilogue

Epilogue

Afterwards, Doug, Commando, and the rest of the Twinkie Squad sneak back into the school, break one of the roof panels in the Home EC room, retrieve the rotten squid, and try to bury it in the schoolyard when they are caught by a policeman patrolling the campus. He tries to arrest them, but at that moment, Ambassador Fairchild intervenes, explaining that his son was not a criminal. The cop is relieved; he believed the boys were burying decomposed human remains.

Commando's father passes his CPA exam and becomes an accountant. Then he and Ambassador Fairchild confront the Principal over his clumsy and prejudiced mishandling of the nosebleed incident. He's forced to admit that Commando is not a bully and apologize for interpreting an accident as a case of physical assault. He does, however, shock Mr. Fairchild by producing Doug's forged letter with the Surgeon General's signature.

Then Doug admits to Commando that he has bad grades because he wanted to show the world that he is different than his family, and that the entire Pefkakia act was made up. He also reveals that his binder, which he had appeared to be obsessively writing in all year, contained nothing but page after page of the word "blah". After Commando goes to his homeroom, Doug's father shows up with a gift of a flower pot full of "bullrushes" - a brown reed-like plant native to Pefkakia. He frolics in the bullrushes like a little boy, embarrassing himself but feeling young at heart. Then they go home and he tells his son that he had to apologize to the principal for him on account of the forged Surgeon General letter - which itself was probably a felony.