The Piano Has Been Drinking (Not Me) (An Evening With Pete King) - Lyrics

Lyrics

Throughout the song, Waits imitates a drunkard, spouting nonsense phrases with the piano tune occasionally stumbling over itself, recalling a "somewhat abused, slightly-out-of-tune piano that one would expect to find in the corner of a bar or left out in the rain." Waits repeatedly comments and complains about numerous inanimate objects with such lyrics as "The carpet needs a haircut." The song has been described as " that late-night hades, the club where you can't find a waitress, "even with a Geiger counter"; where "the spotlight looks like a prison break" and the owner has "the IQ of a fence post." The song's full title includes a reference to Pete King, co-founder and club director of Ronnie Scott's Jazz Club, at which Waits performed from May 31 to June 12, 1976.