Laws of The House of God
- GOMERS DON’T DIE.
- GOMERS GO TO GROUND (referring to patient's, usually the eldery, tendency to fall or fall out of bed)
- AT A CARDIAC ARREST, THE FIRST PROCEDURE IS TO TAKE YOUR OWN PULSE.
- THE PATIENT IS THE ONE WITH THE DISEASE.
- PLACEMENT COMES FIRST.
- THERE IS NO BODY CAVITY THAT CANNOT BE REACHED WITH A #14G NEEDLE AND A GOOD STRONG ARM.
- AGE + BUN = LASIX DOSE.
- THEY CAN ALWAYS HURT YOU MORE.
- THE ONLY GOOD ADMISSION IS A DEAD ADMISSION.
- IF YOU DON’T TAKE A TEMPERATURE, YOU CAN’T FIND A FEVER.
- SHOW ME A BMS (Best Medical Student, a student at the Best Medical School) WHO ONLY TRIPLES MY WORK AND I WILL KISS HIS FEET.
- IF THE RADIOLOGY RESIDENT AND THE MEDICAL STUDENT BOTH SEE A LESION ON THE CHEST X-RAY, THERE CAN BE NO LESION THERE.
- THE DELIVERY OF GOOD MEDICAL CARE IS TO DO AS MUCH NOTHING AS POSSIBLE.
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