Very Long Jokes
A number of episodes seem to contain jokes which take a minute or more to get to the punchline, either due to the need to use up time, or, more likely, for comic effect. Some examples are below.
- In "The Tuscan Salami Scandal", Henry claims to have an idea, forgets it, remembers it, tells Minnie, forgets it again, is told by Minnie and then declares, "What a good idea." Minnie then goes on to ask what was a good idea. This part of the scene goes on for 4 minutes.
- In "The Affair of the Lone Banana", before sending Neddie to South America, Henry Crun spends two minutes apparently taking down Neddie's details, asking him to spell everything, usually more than once, and even falling asleep before finally saying, "It's no good, I'll have to get a pencil and some paper and write all this down."
- In "The Whistling Spy Enigma", Grytpype and Neddie sit down to think of a solution to Neddie's inability to whistle. Greenslade then explains that while they are thinking, the well-known tenor, Webster Smogpule, will fill in time. The tenor then introduces his number, signals for music, waits for three bars, begins to sing "I shine..." only to be interrupted by Grytpype's "I've got it, Seagoon, I've got it!". Smogpule tries again later in the show, only to be shot down in the middle of the second line.
- In "The Mummified Priest", Crun makes a rather lame joke, and bursts into hysterical laughter with Eccles, only for them both to begin 'ha' -ing to a tune, singing 'Ah ha ha ha ha ha ho,' etc. Greenslade then appears: "Listeners will note the cunning way in which the Goons fill in time on their programme!"
- In "China Story", Neddie is instructed by Grytpype to go to the Tea House of the August Goon, knock 6000 times and ask for Ah Pong. He does so to actual gradually sped-up sound-effects. Then, when Milligan, as Throat, answers the door, Neddie asks: "Teahouse of the August Goon?", Throat replies "No!" and slams the door. "Curse!" cries Seagoon, "it's next door! It's always next door in China!" More time elapses as Neddie knocks 6000 times on the correct door. When the door is opened, this time Milligan, in a mock Chinese accent, says "Someblody knock??" Neddie, exhausted, gasps, "Tea House of August Goon?" When Milligan confirms this, Seagoon says, "Are you Ah Pong?" Milligan says, "Yes, we are ah pong (we are open) till 11 o'clock."
- In "The White Neddie Trade", Henry and Minnie tell each other they must not waste any time, and then break into a spontaneous song about not wasting time. Milligan ends the song by saying (almost off-microphone), "We filled out the time like the producer asked!"
- In "The Junk Affair", Bloodnok telephones a warehouse he owns to see if it is on the phone. When the phone in the warehouse rings, he asks Seagoon to answer it, and then asks to speak to the owner. Seagoon replies that the owner is outside, and goes to get Bloodnok. Bloodnok asks Seagoon to hold the phone outside while he goes in to answer the other one. When Bloodnok answers the phone inside the warehouse, Seagoon calls him to speak on the one outside, and Bloodnok asks him to hold the phone inside. Bloodnok, once more outside, again asks to speak to the owner. This routine is repeated several times, from the third time onwards as a gradually speeded-up recording.
- In the episode "The man who tried to destroy london monuments" there is a long scene when Neddie Seagoon goes to Minnie Bannister and Henry Crun's house and knocks on the door. Inside the house Minnie keeps calling Crun's name over and over again to get him to answer the door. Crun however cannot hear her over the knocking on the door and after a long drawn out two minutes he goes down to get Neddie to stop knocking, after which he can finally hear her. After this he then goes to the door and says "You can start knocking again now" before going back inside. The knocking starts again and Min starts calling his name again to get him to answer the door and he still can't hear her. After about five minutes of this they let Neddie inside.
Read more about this topic: The Goon Show Running Jokes
Famous quotes containing the words long and/or jokes:
“Thus Satan talking to his neerest Mate
With Head up-lift above the wave, and Eyes
That sparkling blaz’d, his other Parts besides
Prone on the Flood, extended long and large
Lay floating many a rood, in bulk as huge
As whom the Fables name of monstrous size,
Titanian, or Earth-born, that warr’d on Jove,
Briarios or Typhon, whom the Den
By ancient Tarsus held, or that Sea-beast
Leviathan,”
—John Milton (1608–1674)
“He left behind, as his essential contribution to literature, a large repertoire of jokes which survive because of their sheer neatness, and because of a certain intriguing uncertainty—which extends to Wilde himself—as to whether they really mean anything.”
—George Orwell (1903–1950)