The Fast Show - "You Ain't Seen These, Right!"

"You Ain't Seen These, Right!"

"You Ain't Seen These, Right!" was a one-off programme, shown during BBC 2's Fast Show Night, featuring various sketches which were filmed but did not make it onto the final show. Some of these were:

• An ensemble series of sketches made by the whole male team, as members of a golf club, in which Charlie Higson's character, initially appearing as a "henpecked" scruffy loser, leaves his wife and begins dating a beautiful young woman. The rest of the team are initially dismissive of him as a sad old man particularly when he begins wearing unsuitable clothes, getting tattoos and having his belly button pierced. They become much more interested however when his girlfriend invites one of her equally attractive friends to the lads night out.
• A chain-smoking car driver played by Mark Williams rants about anything and everything through his wound-down window. "Shoe shop?! Shoe Shop?!" He drives around in Harlesden, London. A study in road rage.
• A sketch about a medieval king played by Simon Day, who "loves being king" because he gets to boss everyone about.
• A sketch about a middle-aged man, played by John Thomson, who always finds an excuse to leave the room as soon as the conversation gets round to "women's things."
• A Paul Whitehouse character responds to almost every question, accusation and situation with the phrase "Sorry, but I was up all night, shagging."

These sketches are included in the UK edition of the boxed VHS videotape set of Series 3, and also on the seven-disc Ultimate Fast Show DVD box set.