The Blood Donor - Story

Story

Anthony Hancock arrives at his local hospital to give blood. "It was either that or join the Young Conservatives", he tells the nurse (Whitfield), before getting into an argument with her about whether British blood is superior to other types. After managing to offend some of the other waiting donors he amuses himself by reading the waiting room's wall posters out loud, finally singing "Coughs and sneezes spread diseases" to the tune of the German National Anthem before being shown in to see the doctor.

After the doctor has taken a blood sample Hancock blithely assumes that that is all that is needed and prepares to depart. When the doctor tells him it was only a smear and that he must donate a pint of blood, he protests, "I don't mind giving a reasonable amount, but a pint! That's very nearly an armful!" The doctor finally persuades Hancock to donate the full pint by telling him he has a rare blood type, which appeals to Hancock's snobbery. Having boasted of his lack of squeamishness, he faints while giving blood. Recuperating afterwards, Hancock has a chat about blood with a fellow patient (Lloyd), but since neither of them knows very much about blood the conversation is not very informative. As he prepares to leave Hancock is horrified to discover that the other patient has stolen his wine gums. ("If you can't trust a blood donor, who can you trust?")

After returning home, Hancock cuts himself on a bread knife and is rushed back to the same hospital, where he receives a transfusion of his own blood — the only pint the hospital has of his rare blood type.

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