The Black Adder (pilot Episode) - Plot

Plot

The episode opens with a rendition of the now-familiar Blackadder Theme, followed by an on-screen narrative text:

The action opens with Prince Harry, the King, and the Queen discussing the war with the Spanish. They hope it will soon be over so they can fight the French. The Queen is in high spirits, as it is her birthday and she has been given the county of Shropshire as a present.

Prince Edmund, Duke of York is in his chambers with his servants Percy and Baldrick. He is clearly unhappy about the task he has been given, which is to arrange the festivities for both the Queen's birthday and the return of the Scottish hero Dougal McAngus to the court. He refers to his brother Henry as "the bastard." Baldrick points out that if Henry actually was a bastard, Edmund would one day be King. When he finds out that the eunuchs scheduled to appear have cancelled, Edmund decides to have them executed. ("This is a Royal command performance — there are only two options. Either you do it, or you don't do it. If you do it, you don't get paid. If you don't do it, you get beheaded.")

Later, at a presentation in the great hall, the King gives McAngus all Edmund's lands in Scotland. Edmund is furious, and he, Percy and Baldrick plot to kill McAngus. Percy warns that the King will cut Edmund off if he thinks he has deliberately killed McAngus, so they agree to make it look like an accident. Baldrick suggests putting McAngus's head in the mouth of a cannon and firing it, but Edmund dismisses this as feeble.

Edmund, looking for the Scot, overhears him telling the Queen that his father sends her his regards. Edmund invites McAngus to act as the Scotsman in the play "The Death of the Scotsman," to be performed for the Queen's birthday.

Later, as Edmund is about to start the play, he discovers that McAngus is drunk. Percy and Baldrick begin the play, and are later joined by Edmund and McAngus. In the play, McAngus insults the Queen, then stabs Edmund with a fake telescopic sword. He is sentenced to be hanged from the gallows. Leaving the stage, Edmund instructs Percy and Baldrick to remove the safety hook from the gallows, and warns them that whatever happens, if the Scotsman lives, they will die.

Off-stage, McAngus tells Edmund about hidden love letters from the Queen to McAngus' father, casting doubts on the lineage of Prince Henry. McAngus is back on stage about to be hanged before Edmund realises he needs him alive to show him the letters. He tries to stop the hanging from off-stage by cutting the noose with a spear, but it fails, so in a last-ditch attempt, he throws a sheet over his head, and enters the stage as the ghost of the Prince. He pleads mercy for the Scotsman, but Percy and Baldrick, mindful of his previous threat, are determined to carry out the execution. A comic fight sequence ensues, which ends with Edmund inadvertently hanging McAngus himself, but then holding him up to stop him choking.

A gleeful Edmund is shown the love letters that his mother wrote. He instructs Baldrick to have the court assembled in the morning, where he reveals the content of the letters which are dated November and December 1526. He begins to falter as he realises that this was nine months after Henry's birth, but nine months before his own; it is he who is illegitimate, not Henry. Edmund tries to pretend that McAngus has forged the letters, and challenges him to a duel to the death. Edmund instructs Baldrick to get the fake telescopic sword, but Percy gives Edmund the fake instead. There is a big fight, which culminates in Edmund stabbing McAngus with the fake sword. On finding out that Edmund tried to set him up with the fake sword, McAngus is furious and is about to kill Edmund. When the King begs him for clemency, McAngus agrees, but only if Edmund begs for mercy.

Later, the King, Queen and Henry discuss the letters, which apparently turned out to be French forgeries. Edmund and McAngus are now supposed to be the best of friends. However, up on the tower, McAngus is peering down the barrel of a large cannon, at Edmund's request. Back in the King's chambers, a loud bang is heard. Edmund rushes in to announce that there has been a "terrible accident".

The final shot is of the family coat of arms, inscribed with the motto: Veni Vidi Castratavi Illegitimos ("I came, I saw, I castrated the bastards").