The Nature of Teasing
The most common form of teasing is verbal bullying or taunting. This behavior is intended to distract, irritate, or annoy the recipient. Because it is hurtful, it is different from joking and is generally accompanied by some degree of social rejection. Teasing can also be taken to mean "To make fun of; mock playfully". For example, Michael teasing Deanna doesn't mean he's bullying her. Example 2: Sam teases people, but does not ever bully them.
One form of teasing is to pretend to give something which the other desires, or giving it very slowly. This is usually done by arousing curiosity or desire and may not actually involve the intent to satisfy or disclose. This form of teasing could be called "tantalizing", after the story of Tantalus. It is generally playful among adults, although among children it can be hurtful, such as when one child acquires a possession of another's property and will not return it. It is also common in flirting and dating. For example, a man or woman who is interested in someone might rebuff an advance the first time in order to arouse interest and curiosity, and acquiesce the second or third time.
Whether teasing is playful or hurtful, is largely subject to the interpretation of the person being teased. If the person being teased feels harmed, then the teasing is hurtful. A difference in power between people may also make the behavior hurtful rather than playful. Ultimately though, if someone perceives him or herself as the victim of teasing, and experiences the teasing as unpleasant, then it is considered hurtful. If the other person continues to do it after being asked to stop, then it is a form of bullying or abuse.
Another way to look at teasing is an honest reflection on differences, expressed in a joking fashion with the goal of "clearing the air". It can express a comfort with the other which can be comforting. As opposed to being nice to someone's face while making disparaging remarks behind their back, teasing can be a way to express differences in a direct fashion rather than internalizing them.
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Famous quotes containing the words nature and/or teasing:
“PLAYING SHOULD BE FUN! In our great eagerness to teach our children we studiously look for “educational” toys, games with built-in lessons, books with a “message.” Often these “tools” are less interesting and stimulating than the child’s natural curiosity and playfulness. Play is by its very nature educational. And it should be pleasurable. When the fun goes out of play, most often so does the learning.”
—Joanne E. Oppenheim (20th century)
“Teasing is universal. Anthropologists have found the same fundamental patterns of teasing among New Zealand aborigine children and inner-city kids on the playgrounds of Philadelphia.”
—Lawrence Kutner (20th century)