Team America: World Police - Plot

Plot

Team America exists to stop terrorists from committing world crimes. With a home base within Mount Rushmore, the team consists of: Lisa, a psychologist; Carson, Lisa's love interest; Sarah, an alleged psychic; Joe, an all-American jock who is in love with Sarah; and Chris, a technological and martial arts expert who harbors a mistrust of actors. The team is led by Spottswoode, a United States government agent. I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. is their highly-advanced supercomputer. The team stops a terrorist attack on Paris, France, destroying the Eiffel Tower, Arc de Triomphe, and the Louvre in the process, and Carson proposes to Lisa afterwards, but is killed by a dying terrorist. In search of a new member, Spottswoode recruits Gary Johnston, a Broadway actor who is to use his acting talents to infiltrate terrorist organizations. Both Lisa and Sarah become romantically attracted to him. but Chris hates him due to his past as an actor. Unbeknownst to the team, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il is supplying international terrorists with weapons of mass destruction, planning a worldwide attack.

I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. is informed of a terrorist meeting in Cairo, Egypt, and Gary goes in undercover, infiltrating their group by feigning fluency in Arabic, which he speaks as gibberish and randomly inserting "derka", "jihad" and "Muhammad". The team captures the terrorists, but their actions again leave most of the city in ruins. The group is criticized by the Film Actors Guild (F.A.G.), a union of liberal Hollywood actors. The group includes Gary's favorite actor, Alec Baldwin, and his heavy criticism is discouraging to Gary. Gary confesses to Lisa that his acting talent caused his brother to be killed by gorillas, and they consummate their relationship while a group of terrorists blow up the Panama Canal. The terrorists claim this is retaliation for Team America's attack in Egypt, and the Film Actors Guild blames the team. Gary, realizing his acting talents have once again resulted in tragedy, abandons the team. The team is attacked and captured by North Koreans while investigating a terrorist base, and meanwhile Michael Moore infiltrates the team's base and suicide bombs the area. Kim Jong-il, upset with the terrorists' actions, expresses his frustration and despair by singing "I'm So Ronery, and meanwhile Gary slips into alcoholism.

In North Korea, Kim Jong-il plans to host an elaborate peace ceremony with Alec Baldwin as the host, inviting not only the Film Actors Guild, but also the world's political leaders. During the celebration, a series of bombs will be detonated throughout the world, reducing every nation to a Third World country. Gary returns to the Team's headquarters in Mount Rushmore and finds only ruins, although Spottswoode and I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. have survived. After regaining Spottswoode's trust by performing oral sex on him, and undergoing a one-day training course (shown as a montage for comic effect), Gary is sent to North Korea. Gray frees the team and a battle ensues with the Film Actors Guild, during which Chris confesses to Gary that his mistrust of actors is due to the fact that he was raped by the cast of Cats at the age of nineteen. Gary convinces the world leaders that people like Team America are needed to keep worse people like Kim Jong-il at bay, reciting a speech he heard from a drifter. Kim Jong-il then kills Alec with an assault rifle, but is defeated by Lisa and impaled on a Pickelhaube. Kim's bombs are disarmed, and he is revealed to be a cockroach from another planet, departing in a miniature spaceship promising to return. The team reunites to fight terrorists worldwide once again.