Table Manners - North America

North America

Modern etiquette provides the smallest numbers and types of utensils necessary for dining. Only utensils which are to be used for the planned meal should be set. Even if needed, hosts should not have more than three utensils on either side of the plate before a meal. If extra utensils are needed, they may be brought to the table along with later courses.

A table cloth extending 10–15 inches past the edge of the table should be used for formal dinners, while placemats may be used for breakfast, lunch, and informal suppers. Candlesticks, even if not lit, should not be on the table while dining during daylight hours.

Men's and unisex hats should never be worn at the table. Ladies' hats may be worn during the day if visiting others.

Phones and other distracting items should not be used at the dining table. Reading at a table is permitted only at breakfast, unless the diner is alone. Urgent matters should be handled, after an apology, by stepping away from the table.

If food must be removed from the mouth for some reason, a diner should subtly bring the napkin to his/her mouth (as if to wipe his/her mouth) and quietly spit out the food into the napkin, which is then returned to the lap (while still concealing the partially chewed inedibles). The diner thus avoids insulting the cook/host since the process is nearly indistinguishable from merely wiping one's mouth. An exception is that fish bones may be removed from the mouth between the fingers.

The fork may be used in the American style (in the left hand while cutting and in the right hand to pick up food) or the European Continental style (fork always in the left hand). (See Fork etiquette) The napkin should be left on the seat of a chair only when leaving temporarily. Upon leaving the table at the end of a meal, the napkin is placed loosely on the table to the left of the plate.

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