Statler and Waldorf: From The Balcony - List of Balconisms

List of Balconisms

A list of all the "balconisms" presented by Statler and Waldorf throughout the series:

• ACT-lete: An athlete who attempts to act in movies but really should just stick to their sport.
• Armed FARCES: When the army is rendered useless in a Sci-Fi or action movie, and the true hero turns out to be an average Joe.
• BLONDE-tourage: When the cool girl in a teen movie is surrounded by several dumb sidekicks who will do anything she says.
• Coinci-DANCE: When the music starts playing, everyone breaks out in a perfectly choreographed dance that they all know.
• CON-mercial: When the studio puts out a misleading trailer, that cons viewers into the theater.
• COUGH-in: When a main character coughs in the first few minutes of a movie, and you know they'll be dead by the end.
• Dej-HAH-vous: When all of the funny parts of a movie have already been shown in the trailer.
• Doggie-DAR: The innate ability of the family dog to sense an evil man in their company even when the humans are completely oblivious.
• Expenda-BILL: The nameless character who always goes on secret missions and is always the first to die. (see also: redshirt)
• FLICK-tion: A modern day high school flick that is loosely based on a classical work of fiction.
• Fluctu-WEIGHT: When an actor gains or loses a large amount of weight to suit an upcoming role.
• HACK-tors: Cut-rate actors who replace big stars in cheap sequels to their hit movies.
• HELL-titude: A horror film that takes place at a high altitude (e.g. mountain, plane,)
• Hide and SEQUEL: When actors make sure they will not be found in the sequels to their previous movies.
• In-FAD-uation: When Hollywood tries to make money by doing movies about the latest cultural trends.
• It's OVER-ture: The music they play at the awards show when they want the acceptee to shut up and get off the stage.
• KILL-dren: The uncute kids in horror movies.
• LAUGHTER-math: When the aftermath of a disaster movie is so laughable, it practically ruins the whole film.
• Lucky BLAST-ard: The main character of an action movie who can run, jump, swim or drive just one step faster than the fireball of a huge explosion.
• MAD-aptation: When a TV show is adapted into a movie, but it stinks so much that it angers the loyal fans.
• Opening FREAK-end: When a horror movie's release date coincides with its subject matter.
• OS-carred: When a person is unable to get anymore work after winning an Oscar.
• PET-amorphosis: When a movie character suddenly finds himself turned into the family pet.
• POP-coronary: A medical condition that develops when you see how expensive things are at the concession stand.
• Prev-EULOGY: When movie studios cram the whole movie into the preview and kill any chance of people going to see it.
• PROM-blematic: When most of the problems in a teenage comedy come back to the characters at the prom.
• Romantic KARMA-dy: Where the main character unexpectedly finds love while helping others with their relationships.
• RUN-derwear: When a female in a scary movie runs away from the killer and for some reason is always in her underwear.
• STARING wheel: When someone driving a car in a movie ends up staring at the passenger instead of watching the road.
• THESPIAN-age: When an award-winning actor is cast as a villain in a spy thriller.
• TRAVOLTED: When one key film role rescues an actor's career from years of struggle and puts them back on the map.
• WEAK-quel: A sequel that comes so long after the first movie and nobody really cares.
• WIN-jury: When the star of a sports movie receives an injury that hurts his ability to play, but overcomes it and finds a way to win in the end.
• Yo HO HUM: How Hollywood felt about pirate movies before the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise became such a big hit.
• YULE LOG-jam: The glut of big movies that comes out right around Christmas.