Recurring Features in Mad (magazine) - Table of Contents

Table of Contents

The first page of each issue lists all the articles to follow, including their "Department" headings, which are plays on words. For example, a parody of a pizza chain's menu appeared under "The Passion of the Crust Department," while an article entitled "William Shakespeare, Sports Commentator" was part of "The Play-By-Play's the Thing Department." Long-running features had equally long-running headers: Spy vs. Spy is filed under the "Joke and Dagger Department," Dave Berg's "Lighter Side of..." always ran within the "Berg's Eye View Department," and many of Frank Jacobs' articles come under the "Frank on a Roll Department." Don Martin's crazy cartoons were simply labelled "Don Martin Department," with further fanfare presumably being unnecessary. Dick DeBartolo's articles occasionally are headed under the "Dick DePartment", while some of Duck Edwing's articles were labeled as the "Tales from The Duck Side" Dept. Most of the magazine's other recurring features have had their own continuing "Department."

Each Table of Contents cites one article that does not actually exist. Examples of these imaginary listings have included "Santa Claus, Porn Star"; "What if Cap'n Crunch Was Brought Before a Military Tribunal?"; "If Bobby Knight Coached the Special Olympics"; "Only the Assistant Undersecretary of Transportation Would Possibly Believe..."; and "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions During the Bombing of Belgrade." In one instance, the fake title listed, "If Chickens Could Time Travel," showed up as a genuine article in the next issue.

Each Table of Contents also includes a quote or aphorism attributed to Alfred E. Neuman. With a handful of exceptions, this is the only time the character ever "speaks."