Recurring Features in Mad (magazine) - Irregular Recurring Features

Irregular Recurring Features

Several Mad premises have been successful enough to warrant additional installments, though not with the regularity of the above. These include:

• The Mad Academy Awards for ____ – typically written by Stan Hart, these would mimic the Oscar telecast by showing nominated "performance clips" in non-film areas of life (such as parenting or small business ownership).
• Advertising parodies – too numerous to catalog, though many have been written by Dick DeBartolo; these have ranged from TV ad spoofs to national print campaigns to home marketing and have long provided one of the most durable sources of the magazine's humor. A separate paperback of original material titled Madvertising was published in 1972, and an extensive reprint collection appeared with the same title in 2005.
• Alfred's Poor Almanac – written by Frank Jacobs, this text-heavy page featured quick one-liners, puns, faux anniversaries and other arcana, supposedly matched to each day of that month.
• Badly-Needed Warning Labels for Rock Albums – written by Desmond Devlin, this series of articles mocked both the ongoing Parental Advisory labelling controversy, as well as the musicians of the day, with specifically written warning labels for particular recordings.
• Behind the Scenes at ____ – written and illustrated by various, these frequently take a bird's eye view of a scene, such as a television studio or office. Various vignettes and conversations play out simultaneously, showing the reader how the participants "really" think and behave.
• Believe It Or Nuts! – written and illustrated by various (though most often drawn by Wally Wood or Bob Clarke), this parody of the print version of Ripley's Believe It Or Not depicted alleged marvels and mundanities of the world. In the late 1950s, Mad also published regular installments of "Kovacs' Strangely Believe It!", another Ripley's parody written by Ernie Kovacs.
• Celebrity Cause-of-Death Betting Odds – written by Mike Snider, this long-running feature listed and "ranked" possible methods of future death for one well-known person at a time. It usually contained a tombstone with a caricature of the celebrity (usually drawn by Hermann Mejia). A shorter version later ran in the "Fundalini" section, illustrated by Jack Syracuse.
• Celebrity Wallets – usually written by Arnie Kogen, this was a series of peeks at the notes, photographs and other memorabilia being carried around in the pockets of the famous.
• Cents-less Coupons – written by Scott Maiko, these imitate the giveaway coupon packets found in Sunday newspapers but promote ludicrous products such as "Inbred Valley Imitation Squirrel Meat".
• Chilling Thoughts – written by Desmond Devlin and illustrated by Rick Tulka, these featured observations or predictions about both the culture and everyday life that had supposedly dire implications.
• A Day in the Life of… – written by Scott Maiko, these articles depict the purported hour-by-hour activities of a particular celebrity, such as George Lucas, Dick Cheney, Adam Sandler, or Dane Cook.
• Mad Deconstructs Talk Shows – written by Desmond Devlin, these take on one show at a time and purport to reveal the minute-by-minute format breakdown of America's not too spontaneous chat programs.
• Do-It-Yourself Newspaper Story – written by Frank Jacobs, these are short text news items containing a number of blank spaces. Each space has a corresponding list of numbered fill-in-the-blank options, which grow increasingly absurd. The premise is that with appropriate mixing and matching, the article can be read in a vast number of permutations. The same format has also been applied by Jacobs to other areas as poetry, press releases, or speechmaking.
• Duke Bissell's Tales of Undisputed Interest – written and illustrated by P.C. Vey, these absurdist one-page strips presented a series of non sequiturs and bizarre references in the guise of a linear storyline.
• 15 Minutes of Fame – written by Frank Jacobs, it consists of short poems about lesser celebrities and news figures.
• The 50 Worst Things About ____ – written and illustrated by various, this is an annual article format which has thus far dealt with large catch-all topics such as "TV," "comedy," or "sports."
• The Mad Guide to Man Boobs – written by Ryan Pagelow and illustrated by Drew Friedman, these one-page articles depict an assortment of topless men whose breasts are uniquely misshapen or unsightly, with an official descriptive name given to each configuration.
• The Mad Hate File – written and illustrated by Al Jaffee, these contained a series of observational one-liners about common irritations.
• Hawks & Doves – written and illustrated by Al Jaffee during the Vietnam War era, this was a short-lived series of cartoons in which the autocratic Major Hawks is exasperated by the rebellious Private Doves, who keeps finding unexpected ways to create the peace symbol on his military base.
• Horrifying Clichés – illustrated by Paul Coker Jr. and often written by Phil Hahn, these articles visually depicted florid turns of phraseology such as "tripping the light fantastic", "racking one's thoughts" or "laboring under a misconception"; the verbs are taken literally, and all the nouns are characterized as bizarre horned, scaled or otherwise unusual creatures; Mad also published a separate paperback of these.
• The Mad Library of Extremely Thin Books – written by Frank Jacobs, these two-page articles were laid out to look like a bookshelf in which only the spines of the books were visible. The various titles would suggest books that couldn't possibly contain much content, such as "Making It On Your Own" by Nancy Sinatra, "Wonderful Things That a Nickel Will Still Buy", "Out-Spoken Feminists in the Arab World", or "Prominent Black Yachtsmen".
• Mad's ____ of the Year – written and illustrated by various, these 4-to-6-page articles would enact an interview with a fictional representative of a particular practice or element of society (i.e. "MAD's Summer Camp Owner of the Year"; "MAD's Movie Producer of the Year").
• Melvin and Jenkins' Guide to _____ – written by Desmond Devlin and illustrated by Kevin Pope, these "guides" present the behavioral or attitudinal "do's and don'ts" on a variety of topics, as demonstrated by the titular pair. An abbreviated version runs in the "Fundalini" section.
• Movie Outtakes – these are screen captures of upcoming films (generally taken from the movie trailer), given new word balloons; MAD typically times these pieces to coincide with the movie's general release, either in advance of the full parody or in lieu of it.
• The Mad Nasty File – typically written by Tom Koch and illustrated by Harry North or Gerry Gersten, these insult articles caricatured a variety of public figures and proceeded to abuse them verbally.
• Obituaries for ____ Characters – generally written by Frank Jacobs, these alleged newspaper clippings detail the appropriate demises for fictional characters from a genre such as comic strips, advertising, or television.
• People Watcher's Guide to ____ – often written by Mike Snider and illustrated by Tom Bunk, these articles used a scenario such as "the mall" or "a cemetery" to mock specific observed behaviors.
• Planet Tad!!!!! – written by Tim Carvell and illustrated by Brian Durniak, this purports to be the LiveJournal-like webpage of a teenaged loser's blog, which inadvertently reveals his various personal traumas and general idiocy.
• Pop-Off Videos – written by Desmond Devlin and illustrated with music video screen captures, these one-page articles mimicked the VH1 series "Pop-Up Video," which enhanced music videos with small bits of information. Mad also published a separate standalone special issue of these.
• The Mad _____ Primer – written and illustrated by various, Mad Primers mimicked the writing style of Dick and Jane and dealt with a wide variety of subjects from bigotry to hockey to religion; Mad also published a "Cradle to Grave Primer" as a separate paperback, showing the complete misery-filled life of one man.
• ____ Revisited – "conceived" by Max Brandel according to his credit, these photographic pieces would take a long-established piece of text, such as the Preamble to the U.S. Constitution, or the Ten Commandments, and systematically illustrate the text with ironically-chosen photo images.
• Scenes We'd Like to See – written and illustrated by various, these were generally one-page vignettes which inverted the common conventions of moviemaking, advertising, or the culture at large, ending with a cliched character in a cliched setting, acting cowardly or saying something atypically honest.
• Six Degrees of Separation Between Anyone and Anything – written by Mike Snider and illustrated by Rick Tulka, this feature exploited the Kevin Bacon-based game of links to humorously connect various items or people in thematic or painstakingly phrased ways rather than proximity.
• Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions – written and illustrated by Al Jaffee, this long-running series reproduces unnecessary questions (i.e., "Hot enough for you?" "Did that hurt?") and supplies three sarcastic responses for each, along with a blank box for the reader to supply their own snappy answer. A mini-version of this feature occasionally appears in the magazine's "Fundalini" section, consisting of just one question. Mad has also published several separate, standalone paperbacks of these.
• Seven Periods Closer to Death – written and illustrated by Ted Rall, this one-page strip takes a satirical look at life in high school.
• What Is A ____? – written by Tom Koch, these text-heavy articles would describe the characteristics of a personality type, such as an introvert, a "big man on campus," or a party-pooper.
• When ____ Go Bad – written and illustrated by John Caldwell, each article depicts the outrageous behavior allegedly found within the worst element of a certain culture or profession (i.e. "When Nuns Go Bad"; "When Clowns Go Bad"; "When Veterinarians Go Bad").
• The Year in Film – written by Desmond Devlin, these ironically juxtaposed movie titles of the past calendar year with photographs of topical news events or celebrities.
• You Know You're Really ___ When… – written and illustrated by various, these took a common condition ("You're Really Overweight When…") and presented several one-liners on the theme.

Besides the above, Mad has returned to certain themes and areas again and again, such as fullblown imaginary magazines, greeting cards, nursery rhymes, Christmas carols, song parodies and other poetry (including several versions of "Casey at the Bat"), comic strip takeoffs and others.