Pojulu People - Culture - Marriage

Marriage

Marriage begins with courtship and once the prospective bride and groom have decided to marry, the matter is reported to both families for endorsement. Pojulu dowry is in the form of goats, cattle and cash. This is accompanied by celebrations and merriment. It is worth mentioning that pojulu dowry is not settled at a go – even if there were prospects for that. The explanation is to maintain links and relationship between the two families, and during the marriage event there is a whole celebration for the whole relatives which includes dancing, drinking, singing and conversations.

The Pojulu marry to preserve and perpetuate mankind. This is procreation. The pojulu specifically marry to produce children. Provision of services by the wife is secondary. If the new wife fails to conceive within a reasonable length of time, this creates worries and disappointment to the two families. Marriage in the Pojulu takes several methods and steps:

1.1 Mi'ya (Arranged Marriage)

This is a marriage arranged by both parents of a girl and parents of the boy. When both families have agreed to the marriage, then the dowry is paid in installments until it is completed.

1.2 Identification of Fiancée

This is normally in social, cultural activities. For example, dances, funerals, marriage ceremonies, schools and/or even at homes. Following this, contacts are initiated and in most cases through associates (friends, relatives and/or parents). Through these associates, love messages are transmitted to both parties.

1.3 Exchange of Visits and Presents (Tu'yo)

In this stage, the two families or lovers begin to exchange visits to acquaint themselves and/or study each other. Other visits may be followed by exchange of parents which range from pottery, basketry, handcraft, food items, beer, etc. In some instances, songs and praises are constructed to express the feelings by the two parties.

1.4 Declaration of Marriage (Piya/Tobiya)

In recognition of the above steps, both families aware of what is happening begin to make necessary arrangements to have the two parties to pronounce their intentions in the presence of the members of the two families, friends and well wishers. This stage is considered the most binding for any meaningful marriage in the Pojulu culture. It is likened to taking of oath. Part of bride wealth is normally settled and once accepted, the occasion is celebrated with drinks, food and dances lasting for days.

1.5 Handing over Ceremony (Nyomoji)

Following declaration of marriage, the handing over ceremony is performed. this ceremony is prepared well in advance for the bride to be escorted to her new home. It is a commitment of both families, friends and well wishers. On the part of the bride, the family ensures provision of support for domestic items such as cooking pots, bedding, and other domestic appliances necessary for starting a new home for the bride. Drinks are prepared for this function. On the side of the bridegroom, the family also prepares to receive their son's in-laws and the new bride. This occasion in itself is a big celebration characterized by dances and drinking. In performing this function, the balance of the bride wealth may be settled.

Another important feature in this function following the above, a few days later, is empowermnet. The active player in this process is normally thye mother-in-law through arrangements with the father-in-law of the bride to introduce her to her full responsibilities and to witness for the first time start of the bride eating food prepared by her mother-in-law. This is a long Pojulu tradition that a bride or bridegroom does not eat food in the family where she/he is married to or marrying from until this function is performed. This is believed to be a measure to integrity and respect.

2. Forced Marriage

In this kind of marriage, the boy takes the girl by force. It is a marriage that involves a lot of problems between the two families and may cause tribal or clan fights. However, after a heated debate and amicable discussion, marriage may be agreed upon dowry is then paid.

3. Marriage through Courtship

As it is briefly mentioned above, this is the normal and civilized method of marriage. Because choice of this marriage is an affair of both the boy and girl. When the relationship between the boy and the girl become strong, the girl then reveals it to her parents. the boy and girl arer interviewed whether they loved each other and willing to get married. Then, the parents give their approval or rejection. This followed by screening of both families to check whether any one family has social defect or bad social history. Here both the boy and the girl do not eat in either homes and the same thing with the parents in-laws. Marriage is by consent of parents and it is the most advisable and preferable of all marriages.

Children

The main aim of the Pojulu marriage is to produce children. And it is for this reason that the mothers of the girls are advised to be strict on their girls' behaviors and movement. They are advised and coached well to be good housewives and good furure mothers.

Domestic problems

In a Pojulu family, there can be 'problems' which make lives of a new married woman uncomfortable. The new wife is kept under suspicion throughout her life in the household:

  1. If the wife takes a long time to conceive and have a baby, she is suspected of being a 'loose woman' and therefore barren.
  2. During delivery, if labour takes a day or more, the mother is suspected of having committed adultery. She will then be requested to publicly declare the person involved in the adultery.
  3. If a newly born baby does not breast feed (rejecting the breast), the mother is also suspected and the marriage is jeopardized and may lead to divorce.
  4. If the husband of the wife is continuously unhealthy or his health deteriotes, or if he happens to have a wound, that wound of his does not heals quickly — the wife is suspected, which may result in divorce.

However, today as a result of effects of modern civilization and the influence of religions such as Christianity, some of these 'problems' have been abandoned.

Birth confinement

Immediately after giving birth, the mother of the newly born child is condfined in her hut or room for seven days, but assisted by young children. She will have her meals in the room with the young children while taking care of her new baby. The whole period of her confinement may last 21 days. During this period, other women in the family or co-wives are charged with the responsibility of all the daily services in the house.

Naming ceremony

This occasion is called "Yiji" in the Pojulu and it is the occasion for giving a name to the newly born-child. This is an occasion in which plenty of food is prepared, e.g. meat, beans, variety of oils, beer, etc. Some people may slaughter a goat because of happiness as a new family member has been added to their number.

After the traditions are performed usually by women, a dance is staged then the women, their husbands and most of the youth in the location join in to dance and drink to the health of the newly born.

Read more about this topic:  Pojulu People, Culture

Famous quotes containing the word marriage:

    What is any respectable girl brought up to do but to catch some rich man’s fancy and get the benefit of his money by marrying him?—as if a marriage ceremony could make any difference in the right or wrong of the thing!
    George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950)

    Only one marriage I regret. I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for a drink. The bartender said, “What will you have, sir?” And I said, “A glass of hemlock.”
    Ernest Hemingway (1899–1961)

    Christianity as an organized religion has not always had a harmonious relationship with the family. Unlike Judaism, it kept almost no rituals that took place in private homes. The esteem that monasticism and priestly celibacy enjoyed implied a denigration of marriage and parenthood.
    Beatrice Gottlieb, U.S. historian. The Family in the Western World from the Black Death to the Industrial Age, ch. 12, Oxford University Press (1993)