Open Marriage Incidence - Definitional Issues

Definitional Issues

Researchers need clear definitions of open marriage in order to accurately estimate the incidence of open marriage. Unfortunately, a number of issues can arise that make the definition of open marriage less clear. Four of these issues, and how they impact the estimated incidence of open marriage, are discussed below.

One issue is that study participants may claim to have open marriages when their spouses would not agree. Blumstein and Schwartz asked more than 6,000 couples whether or not they had an understanding allowing sex outside their relationship. Interviewed individually, the partners in some couples gave very different responses to this question. For example, the husband of one couple responded:

"Sure we have an understanding. It's: 'You do what you want. Never go back to the same one.' See, that's where it's going to screw your mind up, to go back the second time to the same person." (Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983, page 286)

The wife responded quite differently, saying:

"We've never spoken about cheating, but neither of us believe in it. I don't think I'd ever forgive him. I don't think I'd be able to. I don't know. I haven't met up with that situation." (Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983, page 287)

This couple illustrates that partners can disagree about whether or not they have an open marriage. Studies that collect data from only one partner of a marriage may not get accurate information about the openness of the marriage. Inaccurate information about the openness of marriages will make estimates of the incidence of open marriage less reliable.

A second issue is that couples may have an open marriage in principle but never actually engage in extramarital sex. For example, Spaniel and Cole found that 7 percent of couples would consider participating in an open marriage, but only 1.7 percent of couples reported having open marriages that actually included extramarital sex. Blumstein and Schwartz found that 15 percent of married couples share an agreement that allows extramarital sex, but only about 24 percent of men and 22 percent of women (or 6 percent and 5 percent of the total, respectively) who had such an agreement actually engaged in extramarital sex during the prior year. Discrepancies between what couples consider doing and what they actually do raise the possibility that some couples agree to have an open marriage but never actually engage in extramarital sex. Studies that define open marriage by agreement alone will tend to report a higher incidence than studies that define open marriage by agreement and behavior.

A third issue is that researchers sometimes define open marriages in overly narrow terms. For example, Hunt defined open marriage as swinging couples who meet with other swinging couples to swap mates. Many couples in open marriages may never engage in this particular form of extramarital sex. Studies that define open marriage in overly narrow terms will underestimate the number of people involved in open marriages.

A fourth issue is that open marriage is usually defined in terms of legally married, opposite-sex partners. Data collected from these kinds of open marriages may not generalize to other kinds of open relationships. For example, cohabiting couples tend to show higher levels of involvement in extra-couples sexual relationships compared to married couples. Gay male couples show very high levels of open relationships compared to straight couples. Focusing on open marriages with legally married, opposite-sex couples will result in estimates that are not accurate for open relationships in other groups.