Open Adoption - Post-birth Openness

Post-birth Openness

Although pre-birth openness is becoming routine in newborn adoptions, there are more variations in the years following the birth, after the adoption has been completed. Some birth mothers want to get to know the adoptive parents before the birth, but then wish to go "their own way" in life thereafter. Getting to know the adoptive family gives her confidence in the placement and the knowledge she can feel secure in the child's future with the parents (or single parent) she selected. The birth mother may feel that future contact with the adoptive parents, or the child, would be emotionally difficult for her.

Likely the most common arrangement in open adoptions is for the adoptive parents to commit to sending the birth mother photos of the child (and themselves as a family) each year, and short written updates, until the child reaches the age of 18. Often these photos and updates will be sent more than just once a year, such as the child's birthday or other significant events. Sometimes an intermediary is selected to receive and forward the updates, and sometimes it is done directly. This can be via mail, or more common recently, via email. Some adoptions are more open than just sending photos and updates. Some birth and adoptive parents agree they would like to stay in face-to-face contact. The amount of contact can vary greatly. It could be just a time or two in the first year. It could be once or multiple times annually throughout the child's life.

A few states permit the birth and adoptive parents to sign a contract of sorts, putting in writing any promises regarding contact after the adoption is finalized. Even in those states which do not expressly have laws in this area, these "open adoption agreements" can usually be prepared if the parties desire to formalize the agreement. Normally, courts will find these agreements enforceable, as long as they serve the best interests of the child. It is not unusual for these agreements to be more like "handshake" agreements, although they offer less protection to a birth parent if the adoptive parent's promises were not honored.