Negiah - Shaking Hands in Halacha

Shaking Hands in Halacha

Whether halacha permits a man to shake a woman's hand is a matter of dispute. Opinions range from saying that it is prohibited for a man to return a woman's handshake even if doing so would embarrass him or her, to saying that returning a handshake is permissible to avoid embarrassment but not otherwise, to saying that handshaking is entirely permissible.

Some authorities prohibit returning a handshake, even to avoid embarrassing the other person. For example, the Chazon Ish has been quoted as stating that shaking hands between men and women is "absolutely forbidden" . This is also the opinion of Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky, Moshe Stern Yitzchak Abadi, Yosef Hayyim, and Judah ben Samuel of Regensburg in his Sefer Chassidim.

Feinstein gives the benefit of the doubt to those who return a handshake, stating that they apparently hold that doing so is not derekh khiba v'taavah (דרך חבה ותאוה), but concludes that such leniency is difficult to rely upon. Although Feinstein did not address the mitigating factor of preventing the other person from being embarrassed, and fell short of stating outright that returning a handshake is forbidden, it is commonly assumed that R' Moshe prohibits returning a handshake even to avoid embarrassing the other person. One publication states this in very strong terms. Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky has also suggested that there may be room to be lenient in this situation.

Ahron Soloveichik has been quoted as giving a novel basis for permitting handshaking, based on the Yerushalmi (Jerusalem Talmud) and the ruling of the Rambam (Maimonides). Likewise, Yehuda Henkin holds that it is permissible to shake a woman's hand according to "the basic halacha" (the Rambam and Shulchan Aruch), and that those who feel otherwise are stringent. Hershel Schachter quotes Chaim Berlin as saying that shaking hands with women is strictly speaking (me'ikar haddin) permitted, particularly if to do otherwise would make the Torah look bad, and indicates that he agrees with this position.

According to Fuchs, Halichos Bas Yisrael, only German Rabbis have traditionally permitted returning a handshake; and a man who is stringent about shaking hands may be lenient and shake hands with his sister (and vice versa), since we find other leniencies concerning brother and sister.

The Career Development Center at Yeshiva University, a Modern Orthodox institution, informs its students that "Shaking hands is a customary part of the interview process. Halacha permits non-affectionate contact between men and women when necessary. A quick handshake can be assumed to be business protocol. Since failure to shake hands will most likely have a strong negative effect on the outcome, it is necessary non-affectionate contact, which is permissible."

However, nonetheless, it has been said in the name of prominent Yeshiva University rabbis that one shouldn't engage fully in a handshake, but rather, one shouldn't hold a tight grip. His hand should be "helpless" and as if the other person is initiating and completing the full action, with his hand being the innocent bystander. Acting as such prevents embarrassment and or loss of a business deal, while at the same time allows one to stay in the framework of halacha (Jewish Law).