Monty Can't Buy Me Love - Plot

Plot

On a normal afternoon, Marge wants Homer, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie to go for a walk. They agree when faced with the threat of having to talk to each other, and arrive at a Fortune Megastore, a venture of wealthy Arthur Fortune (modelled on British entrepreneur Richard Branson). Fortune easily charms the crowd and hands out dollar bills to his customers. This embarrasses the unpopular Mr. Burns, who asks Homer to help him be loved by all.

As his first activity, Burns has Homer throw silver dollars from the top of a tall building, which instead of winning him popularity just causes injuries and terrifies the crowds below. Next, he writes out a check and tells Homer to donate it to the Springfield Hospital, but Homer is mistakenly believed to be the donor and receives the credit. Mr. Burns appears on a radio show called "Jerry Rude and the Bathroom Bunch" and is mocked by Rude. Feeling disappointed, Mr. Burns decides to go to Scotland to capture the legendary Loch Ness Monster with help from Homer, Professor Frink and Groundskeeper Willie. After little progress, Burns has the loch drained of water to expose the creature. After subduing the monster single-handed, Burns has it sent to Springfield to be unveiled, where "Nessie" turns out to be friendly and charms all of the spectators.

However, during the unveiling of the monster, Burns is blinded by camera flashes. He runs into a camera, which crashes and starts a fire: the crowd panic and flee. Following this disaster, Homer then cheers up Burns by pointing out that being loved means you have to be nice to people everyday but being hated means you do not have to do anything. Burns agrees with that logic, saying "I'm a selfish old crank--and that fits me like a Speedo!" In the aftermath of the incident, Homer and Burns give Nessie a job at the "Vegas Town Casino."