Frank Jones is the father (and often unwitting test subject) of Oliver Wendell Jones. He admitted to voting for Alexander Haig in the 1988 Republican primary. He lost faith in life when his satellite dish stopped working, and Oliver was questioned by FBI agents after attempting to unscramble the signal.
He has fallen subject to Oliver's experiments several times. In one incident, Oliver's "molecular transfer device" put his into orbit around Pluto. Another time, he accidentally drank some dandelion hallucinogenics that Oliver had prepared for an experiment and thought that Erik Estrada was coming out of his stomach. When he scolded Oliver about the incident, he commented that he wished he had a "ditzy-headed daughter who wouldn't know a test tube if it walked up and bit her." Evidently still feeling the effects of the hallucinogen, he then imagined Oliver having a giant, xeroxed head of Brooke Shields. He also was part of the "cat sweat scalp tonic scandal" when Oliver created a hair restoration product. Frank was the lead test subject but, he continued to use the tonic, he contracted symptoms reminiscent to the behavior of Bill the Cat, who had supplied the main "cat sweat" ingredient.
He was referred to as "Howard" in a storyline in which he is erased from existence when Oliver deleted his record from various databases, including those of the IRS. Also, in a storyline where Tom Binkley tries to give up smoking, their first names are switched (i.e. "Frank Binkley" and "Tom Jones").
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Famous quotes containing the words frank and/or jones:
“Parents can only give [children] good advice or put them on their right paths, but the final forming of a person lies in their own hands.”
—Anne Frank (20th century)
“There used to be two kinds of kisses. First when girls were kissed and deserted; second, when they were engaged. Now there’s a third kind, where the man is kissed and deserted. If Mr. Jones of the nineties bragged he’d kissed a girl, everyone knew he was through with her. If Mr. Jones of 1919 brags the same everyone knows it’s because he can’t kiss her any more. Given a decent start any girl can beat a man nowadays.”
—F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896–1940)