Frank Jones is the father (and often unwitting test subject) of Oliver Wendell Jones. He admitted to voting for Alexander Haig in the 1988 Republican primary. He lost faith in life when his satellite dish stopped working, and Oliver was questioned by FBI agents after attempting to unscramble the signal.
He has fallen subject to Oliver's experiments several times. In one incident, Oliver's "molecular transfer device" put his into orbit around Pluto. Another time, he accidentally drank some dandelion hallucinogenics that Oliver had prepared for an experiment and thought that Erik Estrada was coming out of his stomach. When he scolded Oliver about the incident, he commented that he wished he had a "ditzy-headed daughter who wouldn't know a test tube if it walked up and bit her." Evidently still feeling the effects of the hallucinogen, he then imagined Oliver having a giant, xeroxed head of Brooke Shields. He also was part of the "cat sweat scalp tonic scandal" when Oliver created a hair restoration product. Frank was the lead test subject but, he continued to use the tonic, he contracted symptoms reminiscent to the behavior of Bill the Cat, who had supplied the main "cat sweat" ingredient.
He was referred to as "Howard" in a storyline in which he is erased from existence when Oliver deleted his record from various databases, including those of the IRS. Also, in a storyline where Tom Binkley tries to give up smoking, their first names are switched (i.e. "Frank Binkley" and "Tom Jones").
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Famous quotes containing the words frank and/or jones:
“I have often been downcast, but never in despair; I regard our hiding as a dangerous adventure, romantic and interesting at the same time. In my diary I treat all the privations as amusing. I have made up my mind now to lead a different life from other girls and, later on, different from ordinary housewives. My start has been so very full of interest, and that is the sole reason why I have to laugh at the humorous side of the most dangerous moments.”
—Anne Frank (1929–1945)
“Poor Casey Jones he was all right,
He stuck by his duty both day an’ night,”
—Unknown. Casey Jones. . .
Oxford Book of Light Verse, The. W. H. Auden, ed. (1938)