Grunthos the Flatulent was the poetmaster of the Azgoths of Kria, writers of the second worst poetry in the universe, just between Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings and the Vogons.
The guide recites a tale of how, during a reading of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning", "four of the audience died of internal hemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived only by gnawing one of his own legs off."
Reportedly "disappointed" by the reception of his poem, Grunthos then prepared to read his 12-book epic, My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles (or Zen And The Art Of Going To The Lavatory in episode 2 of the TV series). He was prevented from doing so when his small intestine leapt up his neck and throttled his brain in a desperate bid to save civilization, killing him.
Excerpt from "Ode To A Small Lump Of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning", taken from the TV series graphics:
- Putty. Putty. Putty.
- Green Putty - Grutty Peen.
- Grarmpitutty - Morning!
- Pridsummer - Grorning Utty!
- Discovery..... Oh.
- Putty?..... Armpit?
- Armpit..... Putty.
- Not even a particularly
- Nice shade of green.
Excerpt from "Zen And The Art Of Going To The Lavatory", also taken from the TV series
- Relax mind
- Relax body
- Relax bowels
- Relax.
- Do not fall over.
- You are a cloud.
- You are raining.
- Do not rain
- While train
- Is standing at a station.
- Move with the wind.
- Apologise where necessary.
Appears in:
- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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