List of X-Play Characters - "P" Characters

"P" Characters

• Sleaze Paladino: The alter ego of X-Play supervising producer JP Shub, this "real rock star" is the lead guitarist for the band Thunderdikk ... Also, he really doesn't like Guitar Hero: On Tour for the Nintendo DS.

First Appearance: Episode No. 20090701

Performed by: X-Play supervising producer JP Shub

• Perry Pate: The leader of Madden Boot Camp, where gamers go to transform from "wanna-be crybaby noobs" and learn "how to play the fundamentals and how to get what it takes to become a champion about Madden NFL 09" (NOTE: The name "Perry Pate" is a parody of the main character from the Terry Tate: Office Linebacker series of TV commercials).

First Appearance: Episode No. 20081003

Performed by: Lester Speight

• "Paul Jr.": see The "Teutuls"

• "Paul Sr.": see The "Teutuls"

• "Pauline": One of the main characters in Kart Driver, a short film produced by Drew Daywalt for the 2011 Epictober Film Festival. She is a more "grim and gritty" take on the original female character from the Donkey Kong arcade game, and it is up to her boyfriend "Mario" to save her from the simian-like "Donkey Kong" (an obese man with fangs, wearing diapers and a red tie). Even though the title suggests that this would be a parody of the Mario Kart franchise, the plot actual plays out like the game Donkey Kong, as Mario has to climb a number of stairs (while avoiding the falling barrels) before eventually reaching the top and smashing Donkey Kong's skull with a hammer; unfortunately, a new version of Donkey Kong appears and grabs Pauline, as Mario learns that he must advance to Level Two.

First Appearance: Episode No. 20111025

Performed by: "Pauline" (Azure Parsons), "Mario" (Ben Giroux), "Peach" (Zoe Simpson), "Luigi" (Rob Galluzzo), "Donkey Kong" (David Mattey)

• "Peach": see "Pauline"

• Peanut: A Jack Russell puppy that had an entire episode dedicated to him.

First Appearance: N/A

Performed by: Attack of the Show producer Avi Adir's dog Peanut

• Tom Peterson: see "Alliance Shopping Network" co-hosts

• Marque Phahee: X-Play's resident guitar player, whose credits include On the X-Play Boards and the closing theme to X-Play's Holidays for the Homeland Special.

First Appearance: Episode No. 5053

Performed by: X-Play segment producer Mark Fahey

• "Cole Phelps": The main character from the game L.A. Noire seems to have somehow acquired an unlisted number from Arkham City, as he makes several phone calls to the Caped Crusader asking for backup (using 1940s slang to further complicate matters).

First Appearance: Episode No. 20120117

Performed by: "Cole Phelps" (voice of Paul Bonnano), "Batman" (voice of Michael Leffler)

• Phil: see Grabnar the Wanderer

• Officer Pike: see Warhammer Chainsaw Sword

• Mr. Pink: see Reservoir Geeks

• Johnny Placement: A creation of the show for their Dirty Gaming Jobs comedy skit, Johnny is first shown as an "exploding barrel" deliveryman within the Half-Life 2 universe (where he makes trouble for the enemy AI by leaving his explosive cargo in places around the base where players can easily find them and - obviously - shoot them until they explode). Johnny is later shown as the fictitious character in Donkey Kong who places those hammers around the construction site that Mario can use to smash barrels.

First Appearance: Episode No. 20101221

Performed by: Unknown

• "Daniel Plainview": A dual parody of the main character from the film There Will Be Blood and the World of Warcraft series of commercials featuring celebrities discussing the virtues of the character classes they play in the game (here dubbed World_Of_Warcrack.Com).

First Appearance: Episode No. 20080227

Performed by: X-Play associate producer Michael Leffler

• Big Earl Plumpkin: A self-described "country bumpkin", this guy loves nothing more than performing karaoke to the tune of his favorite country songs.

First Appearance: Episode No. 6048

Performed by: X-Play segment producer Mark Fahey

• "Prince": A parody of the famous musician, who (according to X-Play) would rather play with real diamonds and pearls than play Pokémon Diamond and Pearl, but does enjoy a game of Prince of Persia: Rival Swords while sitting in the bathtub.

First Appearance: Episode No. 7061

Performed by: X-Play co-producer Paul Bonanno

• The Princess: see "The Breakfast Club"

• The X-Play Prisoners: Two inmates serving jail time for unspecified crimes against humanity. The bigger one is obviously the more dominant and violent of the two, as he gives advice to disgraced Enron executives Jeffrey Skilling and Kenneth Lay on the best games to play in prison, while simultaneously abusing his cellmate (including stabbing him with a shiv fashioned out of a PSP and - apparently - raping him).

First Appearance: Episode No. 6069

Performed by: Guy Branum and Paul Bonanno

• Ratty Puppet: A foul-mouthed groundhog hand puppet (possibly inspired by Triumph the Insult Comic Dog), known for the phrases "oh snap!", "suck it bitches!" and a drawn out "damn!". During his many appearances on the program, Ratty has shown an ability to control The Force, has revealed his Jewish heritage, and was more than willing to gnaw Adam Sessler's head off at the drop of a hat (NOTE: Ratty's full name has been identified as Ratty Handpuppet on certain episodes, or just plain Ratty the Puppet, but the most consistent spelling of his name has been Ratty Puppet).

First Appearance: Episode No. 5009

Performed by: voice of X-Play co-producer Paul Bonanno