March
| Episode # | "The Wørd" | Guest | Introductory phrase | Original Airdate | Production Code |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 359 | "None" | Lorin Maazel, Shashi Tharoor | "If it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, it could be a terrorist. Shoot it either way. This is The Colbert Report." | March 3 | 4028 |
| Stephen starts by talking about the Colbert Bump and how it has been proven to benefit people who appear on his show. He points out a Los Angeles Times op-ed by James H. Fowler that summarizes research showing that Democratic candidates who come on the show receive 44% more in campaign donations. He then begins a new segment called, "Das Booty - The Hunt for Hitler's Gold," in which he claims he will attempt to find two tons of Nazi gold. He then interviews Lorin Maazel about playing music in North Korea. Finally, Stephen interviews Shashi Tharoor about technology in India. | |||||
| 360 | "Experience" | William Donohue, Howard Dean, Jennifer 8. Lee | "I'm no fan of March Madness, but it sure beats February syphilis. This is The Colbert Report. | March 4 | 4029 |
| Stephen starts by talking about John McCain and his support from John Hagee. Stephen expresses his anger of Hagee's views about Catholics. However, as a Christian, he is forced to turn the other cheek. Therefore, Stephen gets William Donohue to express his anger for him. In "The Wørd," he talks about McCain's continued claims of experience, but only over certain things. Next, Howard Dean calls Stephen to talk about the primaries. In "Nailed 'Em," he talks about a six-year-old girl who was cited for vandalism after drawing on the pavement in front of her front door with chalk. Finally, Stephen interviews Jennifer 8. Lee about Chinese food. | |||||
| 361 | "None" | Robert Reich, Gregory Rodriguez | "Forget the wind. The answer, my friend, is blowin' out my mouth. This is The Colbert Report." | March 5 | 4030 |
| Stephen begins by paying tribute to Brett Favre. He then becomes angry about Mike Huckabee losing the Republican primaries to John McCain. He then interviews Robert Reich about the Democrats. In "Difference Makers," Stephen interviews Jason Grunstra, a man who created a website which gives away free breast implants. He then interviews Gregory Rodriguez about race relations and Mexican immigration. Finally, he pays tribute to Gary Gygax. | |||||
| 362 | "AT & Treason" | John Legend | "Daylight Savings Time starts Sunday. Maybe that'll get us out of this daylight debt crisis. This is The Colbert Report." | March 6 | 4031 |
| Stephen talks about John McCain, and about him having a hot dog lunch with George W. Bush. In "The Wørd," he claims that phone companies should be allowed to tap phone calls. In "Cheating Death with Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA," Stephen talks about surgery and heart health. He then interviews John Legend about his music and his support for Barack Obama. Finally, Stephen sings "The Girl Is Mine" with Legend. | |||||
| 363 | "Size Matters" | George McGovern | "New York Post, I call dibs on 'Eliot Mess.' This is The Colbert Report." | March 10 | 4032 |
| Stephen begins by talking about the Eliot Spitzer scandal. In "The Wørd," he talks about Hillary Clinton's claim that she is ahead in the Democratic primaries because she was won bigger states. Stephen then presents a special repor-t called, "The '72 Democrats: Alone Again Naturally" covering the history of the 1972 Democratic presidential race. Stephen makes clear his dislike of George McGovern, whom he then interviews. This episode marks the first appearance of the phrase "President Bush Have a Hot Dog With Me" in the opening titles. | |||||
| 364 | "Mr. Right Now" | Geraldo Rivera | "Hey blood bank, that cookie sucked. I want my blood back. This is The Colbert Report." | March 11 | 4033 |
| Stephen talks about his hate for John McCain, which he is forced to set aside to support him as the Republican presidential nominee. In "The Wørd," Stephen explains how McCain is like a boyfriend who the country could get used to after getting to know him better. In the "Colbert Platinum" segment, he talks about fake Ferraris and the destruction of homes in Liechtenstein. Finally, Stephen interviews Geraldo Rivera about his new book, His Panic. | |||||
| 365 | "None" | Ethan Nadelmann, Howard Kurtz | "If I had a nickel for every time I was wrong, I'd be broke. This is The Colbert Report." | March 12 | 4034 |
| Stephen begins by talking about the resignation of Eliot Spitzer. In "Smokin' Pole: The Fight For Arctic Riches," Stephen talks about Alaska and how it may help America gain more control of the Arctic. In "Better Know A Lobby," he talks about the drug lobby and interviews Ethan Nadelmann of the Drug Policy Alliance. Finally, Stephen interviews Howard Kurtz about the media. | |||||
| 366 | "None" | Hussein Ibish, Sudhir Venkatesh | "Hey Burger King, isn't it time you named an heir? This is The Colbert Report." | March 13 | 4035 |
| Stephen discusses the settlement in a lawsuit filed against Airborne. He then introduces a new segment, "Democralypse Now: The Delightful Dismemberment Of The Democratic Hopescape," which focuses on Geraldine Ferraro's recent comments about Barack Obama, as well as baseless claims that Obama is a Muslim. He then interviews Hussein Ibish about those claims. In the "Difference Makers" segment, Stephen profiles Tennessee Senator Doug Jackson about his legislation that would allow guns in bars. Finally, Stephen interviews Sudhir Venkatesh about his sociological experiences with gangs. | |||||
| 367 | "The Audacity Of Hopelessness" | Samantha Power | "If you're filling out your tournament brackets, I always go with "C." This is The Colbert Report." | March 17 | 4036 |
| Stephen begins by talking about the Democratic primary in Pennsylvania. Stephen then announces The Colbert Report will be taped in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania between April 14–17. In "The Wørd," he claims that the best way to lower unemployment figures is for those who have no jobs to stop looking for work. In "People Destroying America," Stephen talks about a bar owner in New York who banned the song "Danny Boy" from his bar. Finally, he interviews Samantha Power about the Democrats and her book about Sergio Vieira de Mello. | |||||
| 368 | "None" | Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Carole King | "If you're just waking up, that's how you celebrate St. Patrick's Day. This is The Colbert Report." | March 18 | 4037 |
| Stephen begins by talking about Reverend Jeremiah Wright's remarks about racism and how Barack Obama reacted. He then talks about his upcoming shows in Philadelphia and press rumors that he is restarting his presidential campaign. He denies this and announces his new segment, "Stephen Colbert's Doritos Spicy Sweet Pennsylvania Primary Coverage Live from Chilidelphia: The City of Brotherly Crunch." In "Das Booty: The Hunt for Hitler's Gold," Stephen discusses the rising price of gold. Due to a previous search for Hitler's gold being canceled, Stephen sends Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (believing he is his stage manager) to find it. He then interviews Carole King about her music career. Finally, King sings "I Feel the Earth Move." | |||||
| 369 | "The Gospel of John" | Dee Dee Myers | "Hey Stephen, don't forget to stop thinking out loud. This is The Colbert Report." | March 19 | 4038 |
| Stephen briefly mentions David Paterson, New York's newly installed governor, who admitted to an extramarital affair. In the "Democralypse Now" segment, he discusses Hillary Clinton supporters boycotting the Daily Kos and Barack Obama's speech on race. Next, in "Stephen Colbert's Doritos Spicy Sweet Pennsylvania Primary Coverage Live from Chilidelphia: The City of Brotherly Crunch," he features Donorschoose.org. In the "Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger" segment, Stephen wags his finger at the troops in Afghanistan and tips his hat to The Moment of Truth. Finally, Stephen interviews Dee Dee Myers about her new book, Why Women Should Rule The World. | |||||
| 370 | "None" | Dean Kamen | None (show begins with opening sequence) | March 20 | 4039 |
| Stephen talks about World Water Day, which leads to a special repor-t, "Watershift Down: Getting The Sea Monkey Off Of America's Aqua-back." He then introduces a new bottled water, Aqua Colbert. Next, he visits the American Museum of Natural History and their "H2O=Life" exhibit. Stephen then interviews Dean Kamen about a potential water crisis and his invention that purifies water. Finally, he briefly mentions John Kanzius, who discovered a way to burn salt water. | |||||
| 371 | "None" | Eric Alterman, Michael Reynolds | "We have a really big show tonight, but it's a little sensitive, so call it 'husky.' This is The Colbert Report." | March 31 | 4040 |
| Stephen starts by talking about the start of the new baseball season, and claims that some of the people involved in rioting in Iraq were Chicago Cubs fans. He then talks about Philadelphia, claiming he has been studying the city's history and then moves onto "Stephen Colbert's Doritos Spicy Sweet Pennsylvania Primary Coverage Live from Chilidelphia: The City of Brotherly Crunch." He then mentions that Barack Obama scored 37 (out of 300) in a bowling game. Next, he interviews Eric Alterman about liberalism. Stephen then broadcasts a repeat of the seventh Tek Jansen episode, announcing that a new episode will be shown on April 3. Finally, he interviews Michael Reynolds about building houses out of garbage. |
Read more about this topic: List Of The Colbert Report Episodes (2008), Season 4 (2008)
Famous quotes containing the word march:
“The march of the human mind is slow.”
—Edmund Burke (1729–1797)
“Unaffected by “the march of events,”
He passed from men’s memory in l’an trentiesme
De son eage; the case presents
No adjunct to the Muses’ diadem.”
—Ezra Pound (1885–1972)
“The next thing his Lordship does, after clearing of the coast, is the dividing of his forces, as he calls them, into two squadrons, one of places of Scriptures, the other of reasons....
All that I have to say touching this, is that I observe a great part of those his forces do look and march another way, and some of them fight amongst themselves.”
—Thomas Hobbes (1579–1688)