List of Saturday Night Live Commercial Parodies - J

J

• J.J. Casuals – Jack Johnson (Andy Samberg) promotes shoes shaped like bare feet for those who are as casual as he is.
• Jamitol – parody of Geritol in which a husband (Chevy Chase) extols the virtues of the multivitamin that has kept his wife (Michael O'Donoghue) working to the point of exhaustion. "My wife. I think I'll stuff her!"
• Jam Hawkers – carries the Smucker's slogan ("With a name like Smucker's, it has to be good!") to absurd extremes, promoting jams that taste so good that the manufacturers dare to give them horrible and disturbing names. Most members of the first-season cast appear as spokesmen, each trying to outdo the other on the "best" jam in the following order:
  • Jane Curtin – Fluckers: "It's got to be good!"
  • Chevy Chase – Nose Hair: "You can imagine how good it must be... mm–mm!"
  • Dan Aykroyd – Death Camp: "Just look for the barbed wire on the label!"
  • John Belushi – Dog Vomit & Monkey Pus: "This stuff has got to be terrific!"
  • Chevy Chase – Painful Rectal Itch: "The taste? (kisses fingers)"
  • Dan Aykroyd – Mangled Baby Ducks: "Great jam! Beautiful jam!"
  • John Belushi – 10,000 Nuns and Orphans (Jane: "What's so bad about that? John: They were all eaten by rats!") "Oh so good!"
  • Garrett Morris then brings in a jar that's "So disgusting you can't say it on television!"
• Jar Glove – In a parody of the black-and-white dramatizations of someone struggling to perform an everyday task without the use of the product being sold, a housewife (Kristen Wiig) accidentally kills her husband (Jason Sudeikis), resists arrest, is sentenced, goes to prison, plots and executes an escape, and hides out from prison guards—all because she struggled with opening the lid on a jar without benefit of the Jar Glove.
• Javis Homer Security System – a commercial that begins as a diaper ad featuring a man (Will Ferrell) reminiscing about the first time he changed his baby's diaper. The baby's mother (Ana Gasteyer) enters the room, yelling, "Who the hell are you?!" and the man makes a frantic escape out the window while the mother cries and holds her baby in fear.
• Jenson Mint – phony dollars and coins for rich people who want homeless panhandlers to leave them alone once and for all.
• Jewess Jeans – Gilda Radner models these jeans in this parody of Jordache jeans (and, to a lesser extent, Levy's rye bread). The tag line advises that "no one has to be Jewish" to wear Jewess ("but it wouldn't hurt," Radner adds).
• Jiffy Express – When you forgot your package had to be at its destination yesterday, Jiffy says "We'll take the package... AND the blame" by back-dating packages and simulating shipping delays.
• Jiffy Pop Air Bag – Eat popcorn while you're waiting for the ambulance to arrive.
• Jogger Motel – "Joggers jog in, but they don't jog out."
• Joe Dude, Joe Hetero, Joe Caucasian, and Joe Not-a-Rapist – promos for Fox reality shows based on Joe Millionaire, where a bachelor tricks female contestants into thinking he (or in the case of "Joe Dude," she) is male, heterosexual, white, or not a rapist.
• Jon Hamm's John Ham - the actor promotes ham you can eat while sitting on the toilet, complete with a dispenser similar to that of toilet paper.