Season 5 (2003/04)
| No. in series |
No. in season |
Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date | Production code |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 86 | 1 | "Vegas" | Bryan Cranston | Michael Glouberman & Andrew Orenstein |
November 2, 2003 | 06-03-501 |
| While Francis is trapped with Otto in a well he was supposed to fix, a fire erupts in the barn (also Francis' fault). Meanwhile, the family travels to Las Vegas where Reese and Dewey show an obese rabbit at a competition, Hal is convinced he has had a prophetic dream about winning at a slot machine, and Lois goes backstage with her favorite singer Boone Vincent (David Cassidy). | ||||||
| 87 | 2 | "Watching the Baby" | Levie Isaacks | Alex Reid | November 9, 2003 | 06-03-502 |
| Attractive, popular girls want to be seen with Reese, Malcolm, and Stevie as revenge on their boyfriends, so the boys stick Dewey with babysitting Jamie. Dewey proceeds to tell Jamie an elaborate story in which their parents are secretly wealthy and have a hidden "secret good house" in their closet. Hal must work for Craig at the Lucky Aide when he can't pay for Jamie's diapers, and he finds out that Craig is torturing the graveyard shift employers while he does nothing. With the help of Hal, they cause a rebel and a strike against Craig. | ||||||
| 88 | 3 | "Goodbye Kitty" | Jimmy Simons | Gary Murphy & Neil Thompson | November 16, 2003 | 06-03-503 |
| Stevie eventually finds out his mother has divorced his father (after Reese blabs to him in front of Abe and the rest of him), causing him to grew a severe depression, which Malcolm tries to improve to cheer up Stevie. Lois' high school diary falls into Reese's backpack; Reese reads it and becomes infatuated with the original owner. He is later horrified when he learns the one whom he was infatuated with is his mother. Dewey regresses into babyhood. Meanwhile, neither Francis nor Otto can bear to put a horse down. | ||||||
| 89 | 4 | "Thanksgiving" | David D'Ovidio | Matthew Carlson | November 23, 2003 | 06-03-504 |
| Reese displays monomania and incredible culinary genius and talent while making Thanksgiving dinner. Lois intervenes when Francis and Piama seem headed for divorce. Malcolm goes to a party and spends half the time wondering if Kirstin (Alessandra Torresani) is flirting with him, as he gets completely drunk at the party, and they end up making out. He later freaks out when he finds out that she wants to have sex with him. | ||||||
| 90 | 5 | "Malcolm Films Reese" | Levie Isaacks | Dan Kopelman | November 30, 2003 | 06-03-505 |
| Malcolm films Reese for a school psychology assignment, then discovers that he is an unwitting participant in one of Mr. Herkabe's experiments. To get back at Herkabe, he gets into his office to reveal the other students' dirty secrets. Top officials at Hal's company are arrested for embezzlement, Lois has problems with a washing machine and a dryer, Francis helps Otto deal with a scathing review of the Grotto, and Dewey skips school to earn money as a street performer. | ||||||
| 91 | 6 | "Malcolm's Job" | Steve Welch | Maggie Bandur | December 7, 2003 | 06-03-506 |
| Reese and Malcolm get jobs at a slaughterhouse and the Lucky Aide, respectively. Malcolm catches Lois smoking at work and is beginning to wonder if she is becoming a hypocrite. Hal takes a class to spend more time with Jamie, but he and the other dads soon start betting on their babies (biggest burp, fullest diaper etc.). Wanting to spend time with a "good brother", Dewey runs away to the Grotto to visit Francis. | ||||||
| 92 | 7 | "Christmas Trees" | Steve Love | Alex Reid | December 14, 2003 | 06-03-507 |
| Hal, Reese, Malcolm, and Dewey go into business selling Christmas trees, but two priests send homeless people to their business. Craig is bitten by a squirrel, and Lois, feeling like she and her family's a bad luck charm to Craig, orders her co-workers and some homeless people to catch the squirrel. Otto's family visits the ranch, but Francis starts to feel homesick when Otto's family is suddenly exactly like Francis's family. | ||||||
| 93 | 8 | "Block Party" | Levie Isaacks | Rob Ulin | January 4, 2004 | 06-03-508 |
| Returning early from vacation, the family discovers that their neighbors have been celebrating their yearly absence with a block party. Reese and Dewey scheme to make quick cash by letting kids beat up Reese, Hal and Lois join the kielbasa-eating contest, and Malcolm inadvertently aids a burglar. Meanwhile, Francis finds himself assigned to breeding cows, the most disgusting job at the ranch. | ||||||
| 94 | 9 | "Dirty Magazine" | Bryan Cranston | Eric Kaplan | January 11, 2004 | 06-03-509 |
| Malcolm is a part of the school newsletter team and decides to publish a student's brilliant story despite containing vulgar language. After the ACLU forces him to not censor the story, Principal Block (Kurtwood Smith) decides to cancel all extracurricular activities rather than "turning their high school into an adult bookstore". They even blackmail him with threatening the student to be expelled if he doesn't comply. He gets revenge on Block by publishing his own magazine just outside the school grounds (50 m away from the gates), also containing the story, which Block cannot stop because it's not his. | ||||||
| 95 | 10 | "Hot Tub" | Jimmy Simons | Andy Bobrow | January 25, 2004 | 06-03-510 |
| Hal buys a hot tub without telling Lois, but it turns into a swamp when he neglects to clean it, and Lois learns a lesson about ruining people's fun (and Hal for lazyness). Malcolm gets his learner's permit while Reese steals Dewey's new friend Noah, when actually, Noah befriended Dewey to get to Reese so he could beat up Noah's bullies for him. Gretchen's former fiance, Otto's former best friend, visits the ranch. | ||||||
| 96 | 11 | "Ida's Boyfriend" | Peter Lauer | Neil Thompson | February 8, 2004 | 06-03-512 |
| Ida plans to drug, marry, and bilk a Chinese man (James Hong). Malcolm gets his tongue pierced, and tries to hide it from Lois before the wedding ends. Meanwhile, Reese has saved all of the money to buy Dewey a favourite model of a ship, only to smash it up in front of him. Dewey gets revenge on him by going to great lenghts in pretending that he doesn't exist. Reese, overcomed by horror, tries to apologize. | ||||||
| 97 | 12 | "Softball" | Ken Kwapis | Michael Glouberman | February 15, 2004 | 06-03-511 |
| Malcolm joins the Lucky Aide softball team to get away from Lois's wrath on the job, only to discover that Lois is the recent team's coach. He also discovers Craig's amazing talent for playing softball. Francis drives cross-country on his pick-up truck to prove to Lois that he is not lazy, while Dewey dares Reese to outdo one of Francis' old stunts, which he actually does. | ||||||
| 98 | 13 | "Lois' Sister" | David D'Ovidio | Gary Murphy | February 22, 2004 | 06-03-513 |
| Lois' sister Susan (Laurie Metcalf) visits, bringing Reese and Malcolm a red 1967 Ford Mustang, Dewey a big cotton-candy machine, and Jamie a $5,000 savings bond. Suspicious about this generosity, Lois eventually learns that Susan needs a new kidney and that she's still bitter that Lois stole Hal from her. Meanwhile, Francis "leads" a group of Girl Scouts on a wilderness campout journey, but they turn on him from the start. | ||||||
| 99 | 14 | "Malcolm Dates a Family" | Steve Welch | Rob Ulin | March 14, 2004 | 06-03-514 |
| Lois boycotts the family's favorite restaurant, Luigi's, for unknowingly tipping 15% more to them, but Hal and the boys eat the Luigi's pizzas behind her back. Lois catches Reese eating Luigi's pizza, and to avoid the detention, Reese decides to give her info that Hal does a five-minute imitation of her. Malcolm gets more involved with his new girlfriend's (Sara Paxton) intellectual family than with her. | ||||||
| 100 | 15 | "Reese's Apartment" | David Grossman | Dan Kopelman | March 21, 2004 | 06-03-515 |
| Lois and Hal find out about a thing that Resse did (which is never revealed), which is the most disgusting and terrible thing that Reese ever did, on which even Hal snaps, and they kick him out of the house. Francis tries to stand up for Reese and to bring him home (not knowing what he did), and Dewey enjoys trashing Resse's things and sleeping on his bed. Meanwhile, Lois finds out that Reese's grades are improving since he moved away, and she wonders if she really has to let him have his apartment. | ||||||
| 101 | 16 | "Malcolm Visits College" | Peter Lauer | David Wright | March 28, 2004 | 06-03-517 |
| Malcolm looks forward to visiting college--until Lois comes along and they meet the power-hungry dorm head, Leland. After Hal refused to buy Dewey a piano, Dewey steals items around the house to drive Hal crazy until he builds one from the items he stole. Reese pretends to be a drug dealer to go out with the school's narc, who in the end turns out to be an undercover cop. Francis and Otto try to help out at a day care, but things go wrong when Otto gets the kids drunk. | ||||||
| 102 | 17 | "Polly in the Middle" | Steve Love | Matthew Carlson | April 25, 2004 | 06-03-516 |
| Polly the babysitter (Julie Hagerty) is caught in a love triangle between Abe and Craig after, unknowingly to each other, Lois sets date with Polly for Craig, and Hal sets her for Abe, which gets complicated as she doesn't know who to pick as he enjoys with both of the men. In the end, they find out about it and end up fighting both for the girl. | ||||||
| 103 | 18 | "Dewey's Special Class" | David D'Ovidio | Maggie Bandur | May 2, 2004 | 06-03-519 |
| Malcolm coaches Dewey on how to do poorly on an IQ test so he will not end up in the Krelboyne class, but the trick sends him to the emotionally disturbed "Busey" class instead. After leading the Buseys to revolt against their teacher, Dewey ends up getting Malcolm grounded when he tells Lois about his plan to keep him out of the Krelboyne class. Meanwhile, Reese tries to figure out what type of genius he is, and Hal and Craig enter a Dance Dance Revolution-style contest. | ||||||
| 104 | 19 | "Experiment" | Bryan Cranston | Alex Reid | May 2, 2004 | 06-03-518 |
| Stevie and Malcolm try to figure out how Reese managed to separate two bases for an enzyme for a medical experiment when he refuses to tell them. After he agrees, they manage to get him to rewind his day to find out how he managed to do it. Dewey sells chocolate bars by fibbing (with Francis' help). Meanwhile, a pig that keeps being beat up by bigger pigs is trained by Francis to become more assertive, resulting in a huge chaos. | ||||||
| 105 | 20 | "Victor's Other Family" | David Grossman | Eric Kaplan | May 9, 2004 | 06-03-520 |
| Lois, Reese, Jamie and Malcolm go to Canada to meet Victor's secret family. Things go well for them until a vengeful Ida comes for a visit and demands for Victor's pension. While helping her mother out with an upcoming lawsuit, Lois discovers who her biological father really is and abandons the case. Meanwhile, Dewey dreads Hal running with him since bad things always happen before such events between the two. Betty White guest stars as Victor's other wife, Sylvia. | ||||||
| 106 | 21 | "Reese Joins the Army (Part 1)" | Steve Love | Andy Bobrow | May 16, 2004 | 06-03-521 |
| Reese has a new girlfriend, named Beth, who is as much as dumb as him. Malcolm initially dislikes her, but Reese finds out that Beth is breaking up with him, as he cheated with no other than Malcolm himself. Devastated about this, Reese runs away and joins the army (going under the false surname of Jetson). Hal's company goes under à la Enron, and two FBI officers want him to falsly testify against an employer. He refuses to do so, but they have him arrested. Lois is stressed out when she has to take on overtime at Lucky Aide to make ends meet, and eventually gets fired, snapping and becoming mentally unstable. Meanwhile, Dewey enters a piano contest, but he is angry that no one neither noticed about this, (nor that he has been out of town and won the contest). | ||||||
| 107 | 22 | "Reese Joins the Army (Part 2)" | Pater Lauer | Andrew Orenstein | May 23, 2004 | 06-03-522 |
| The company uses Hal as a scapegoat and Lois has become more mentally unstable. When Francis learns that she may not be able to care for his siblings for long, he enlists Malcolm to help forge their father's signature in a legal document, declaring her mentally incompetent. Meanwhile, Reese becomes a top-class soldier in training and makes his way with his squad into Afghanistan. At the house, Malcolm encourages Hal to testify in his own defense when he reveals he has skipped work on Fridays in 15 years, providing evidence of his absence for Fridays. |
Read more about this topic: List Of Malcolm In The Middle Episodes
Famous quotes containing the word season:
“Methoughts a legion of foul fiends
Environed me, and howled in mine ears
Such hideous cries that with the very noise
I trembling waked, and for a season after
Could not believe but that I was in hell,
Such terrible impression made my dream.”
—William Shakespeare (1564–1616)