List of Late Night With Conan O'Brien Sketches - Miscellaneous

Miscellaneous

• The Growl - Conan often gives a Bob Hope- or Roy Orbison-like growl at attractive women, sometimes accompanied by barking or meows and hisses while miming a "clawing" motion.
• The Microphone - Conan will sometimes knock over the microphone on his desk for a quick laugh. Once in a while, he will knock it over and then jokingly threaten the audience, such as "I'll clear this studio if I have to", and "...fill it with a minty foam." He also states on occasion that the microphone is made of chocolate or marzipan. He also has been known to put the desk microphone up to his face and breathe heavily into it while staring wide-eyed. Occasionally, he will take his clip-on microphone and stick it up his nose "just because the producer hates it".
• The Conan/Max staredown - Similar to the Small Talk moment, but without any dialogue, Conan and Max will stare at each other blankly for a long time with the cameras switching between Conan and Max. Eventually, Conan seems to get creeped out and looks away. He then says that someone should discover a way to "bottle that chemistry."
• Conan Cost Cutting - After a sketch involving Tim Harrod in an expensive "Grub Man" costume, the show began to re-use the costume in order to amortize the cost. It appeared as a "surrendering croissant", a "victorious cannoli", a "liposuctioned Jabba the Hutt", a "pissed off kreplach", and a "beach rock." At the end of any sketch involving the costume, Conan mentions how many different ways the costume has been used and a "per costume total", which is the cost of the original costume divided by the number of uses. He'll then invite viewers to mail in their suggestions for a further use for the costume and, in return, will receive an "I'm a Conan Cost Cutter" button.

• The address for viewers to send in their own suggestions for use of the Grub-Man costume was:

Grub-Man Costume Ideas c/o Late Night

30 Rockefeller Plaza

New York, NY 10112

• A variation on this bit was used when the show acquired an expensive whale costume for a single sketch, and then devoted an entire "Whale Week" to whale-related bits, ostensibly to get their money's worth from the costume. The whale costume in question has been used with decreasing frequency since.

• Mike Koman - Koman, one of the show's writers, often plays a sketch character. Whenever he does, Conan is guaranteed to needle him in some way, as when he was the "M.I.T. Nerd" or "Donald Trump's Brother".
• The Evil Puppy - This bit involves a puppy, often a golden retriever, sitting on a throne of skulls, flanked by black-robed Druids, all of this under a red light, while O Fortuna plays in the background. Often, as the camera shows close-ups of the puppy squirming around on the chair, the audience will "awwww" at its cuteness, as Conan warns that the puppy is going to "conquer the world" or "suck your liver out through your eye sockets." Usually appears on Friday the 13th. Sometimes, the Evil Puppy's powers are portrayed causing pain and humiliation through supernatural means.
• Jeff Won't Talk - Conan pokes fun at the show producer, Jeff, who is only ever seen shaking his head on camera and gesturing for Conan to move it along.
• Faulty G.E. In-house Voice Directory System - Conan reveals the company's voice-operated directory's voice recognition system, powered by General Electric, "doesn't work." Here, Conan will request the name of a person he wants to be directed to. However, the system brings up only a similar sounding name or a totally different name, after a prolonged pause. He also uses song verses and random sentences for hilarious results.
• The Gentler Side of Grand Theft Auto IV - Since the release of the highly anticipated video game Grand Theft Auto IV, Conan has presented in-game footage of the game that do not display any acts of violence or sexuality. Typically, the player-controlled protagonist Niko Bellic would proclaim random things about himself and society in a friendly, humorous way, as opposed to the game's actual extremely graphic nature.
• Ginger, NO! - A fake interview is set up with a staff member when all of a sudden Conan says "Ginger, NO!" The camera then cuts to a German Shepherd who raises a handgun and shoots the interviewee.
• Late Night Sausage Party - On nights when all of the guests are male, Conan complains about the new movie "The Women", and how there are no men in the movie—not even extras! He counters this by having all male guests and a gravelly voiced announcer begins the "sausage party" by announcing the guests and making crass and inappropriate remarks regarding their sausages.
• Double Letter Week - A whole week of episodes was scheduled in which the guests had double letters in their names. (i.e. Ted Koppel, Larry King). (Max once reacted with disappointment, saying that he wished he had a double letter in his name, to which Conan responded, "Oh, but you do, Max." Max was then subjected to the Ass Stamp, with the double letter in 'ASS' highlighted.)
• This Show Will Not Air - Conan does something very outrageous or over the line, but reassures the audience by saying that "This show will never air."
• Hold for Editing - When a joke bombs Conan will sometimes pause for a few seconds and say, "Hold for editing." He will then resume the monologue or sketch as if the section containing the bad joke will be removed from the show before it is broadcast.
• Conan's Ford Taurus - On several occasions, Conan had expressed pride in his car, a green 1992 Ford Taurus SHO. He actively sought to sell it and went so far as to have it appraised at Sotheby's and Christie's auction houses despite being extremely dirty and having mechanical problems. The car was finally "sold" to actor Brad Pitt during one of the final shows, however a sketch during his debut on The Tonight Show revealed that he still owned the car.
• The Show Is Cheap/NBC Has No Money - Conan frequently made jokes commenting about the show being cheap, especially during sketches where bad special effects or shoddy-looking costumes/graphics were obvious. Often he would also make references to how NBC did not want to pay for anything.
• "That was stupid." - Much like the "This show is cheap" comments, whenever there was an especially bizarre sketch or a bad joke, Conan usually commented about how dumb or stupid it was before moving on.
• "Gotta go, move it along." - If a joke/sketch ran especially long or if Conan was wasting too much time he would often mock his producer by saying "Gotta go, move it along!" in a deep voice.