List of Black Books Episodes - Series 3 (2004)

Fran returns from a holiday in Cornwall to find Bernard living amongst mouldy books and dead badgers and Manny working next door at the extremely glossy Goliath Books following an incident involving Manny's hand and a sandwich toaster, where he is decidedly out of place amongst creepy manager Evan and his army of hyper-efficient pastel-shirted followers. Armed with only a "duty to do" card (a card that elicits a "doo-ti-too-doo" sound when inserted into the corresponding slot on a computer) and an endless supply of muffins, Manny manages to resist Fran's rather self-serving attempts to drag him back to Bernard so that she has somewhere to hang out. Bernard's physical condition deteriorates rapidly without Manny's care ("I feel like I've been beaten up, underwater"), but Manny is soon questioning his choice of career as Evan demands an unthinkable sacrifice.

Fran leaves for the weekend to go to her friend Becky's hen party while Bernard and Manny, inspired by their latest children's-book event, decide to write and illustrate a book for children. Bernard's first effort comes to over 1,000 pages, covers Joseph Stalin, a lens grinder, a broken marriage, and a truth-seeking journalist – a bit complex for kids. The subsequent masterpiece, The Elephant and the Balloon, could bring them international fame—and all its problems. Meanwhile, Fran's hen party is a disaster: the booze starts flowing, and a game of truth stirs up tears and recriminations.

Manny's irritating parents, 'Moo-Ma' and 'Moo-Pa', unexpectedly come to stay after Bernard deletes Manny's answerphone messages. Bernard is instantly infuriated by their mere existence, not to mention their annoying quirks and songs, but his patience and Fran's nerves are tested when it's revealed that Manny's letters home have greatly embellished his actual accomplishments in life.

After a small win on the Grand National, Bernard becomes addicted to gambling, leaving Fran and Manny in a bitter competition to sell as many books as possible. Soon horses aren't enough and Bernard lands in an illegal poker game against a group of ruthless, successful gamblers, including Dave 'Mouse Ear' Smith. Being utterly hopeless at cards, Bernard (now nicknamed The Gold Mine) loses everything, and Fran and Manny need to hatch a plan to obtain the money before Bernard's debtors "evict" him from his shop, £20,000, and/or his legs.

Manny organises a book launch party at the shop with charismatic-but-smug travel writer Jason, and everyone starts falling for him and his stories of far-away adventure. Meanwhile, Bernard's landlord has died and a small cat now owns the building. Driven to destroy the cat's burgeoning real-estate empire, he attempts to persuade an animal-loving pest exterminator to turn kitty hitman. His attempts fail and cause the exterminator to commit suicide. When Bernard tries to finish the job, Manny is injured.