Kevin and Bean - Recurring Themes, Characters, & Running Jokes

Recurring Themes, Characters, & Running Jokes

• "SANTA MONICA!!!!!!" — Started after the John Kilduff "Let's Paint" Public-access television video was aired on Kevin and Bean. Kilduff had a number of crank callers calling in making "Santa Monica" shout-outs. Soon thereafter, Kevin and Bean got their own "Santa Monica" crank caller.
• "What it do, nephew?" — A daily listener call-in segment at the start of the show during which the best rant/story sometimes earns the caller a prize. (it used to be during the last 10–20 minutes of each day's program) Formerly known as "What Is Your Deal?", the segment was renamed after a greeting coined by Snoop Dogg and was expanded to include the phrase "what it do, baby boo" to greet Lisa May and female callers.
• "Robbie Joyner" - Whenever someone young has accomplished something Kevin chimes in with, "Do you know what I was doing at that age? Throwing rocks at my neighbor Robbie Joyner."
• "The Hot Bell" — Bean often rings a bell at the mention of an attractive woman's name. The practice extends to when callers specifically greet Lisa May, usually with a suggestive tone. A children's bicycle bell is used when attractive but underage stars are mentioned, such as the Olsen Twins, Lindsay Lohan and Miley Cyrus. A cowbell is used for larger women like Oprah Winfrey. A sound clip for unattractive women is also used, alternating between the sound of a frying pan (as if their face was a result of being struck by a frying pan) and Chewbacca's trademark growl.
• "Don't Bogart That Joint, My Friend ...." — Kevin and Bean start and end their Friday shows with a cover of "Don't Bogart Me" by Robert Bradley's Blackwater Surprise, sung by the cast. For a while, they opened the Monday show with "The Boys Are Back In Town" by the Bus Boys after it was suggested by a listener.
• Cucamonga Heat — DJ Omar Khan made a film while in school called Cucamonga Heat that is clearly a low-budget film. After being featured in the show, there is an often-played clip of the film featuring a man sitting down in a chair (DJ Omar Khan) ordering a fake drug deal to occur. This clip is usually played (especially by Kevin) during instances where a clip (from a Movie) should be played usually as a joke or to signify that the thing being reviewed is bad. This also led to anyone named "Eric" to be greeted by "Yea, Eric" when calling in.
• "(Random Words) Playing at..." — Whenever a strange combination of words are mentioned randomly throughout the show, Kevin and Bean imply that the previously mentioned words are actually the name of a music group that are "set to play" at an upcoming concert. The comedy is in the combination of random words, usually set up as "," by the way..." This is done to poke fun at the absurdity of band names that Kevin and Bean learn about. One example involves the words "concrete vagina," first mentioned in a bit on February 11, 2008, with Bean stating that "They're playing at Coachella. They're very good."
• "The 909" — The guys often mock the Inland Empire area of Southern California, for its reputation as a haven for meth labs and trailer trash. On one April Fool's Day, the show staged a fake Blink 182 concert in the area as an "apology", sending many 909ers on a frantic search for the bogus event. (It is also rumored/believed that portions of the 909 area code were "re-numbered" to 951 due to Kevin and Bean's constant negative opinion of the area and its inhabitants.)
• "Loquecia" — A feisty African-American hairdresser, voiced by Ralph, who calls in with recaps of reality shows, often pointing out how crazy white people are.
• "Rock Me Amadeus" — Ralph's affinity for the '80s pop song by Falco led to a string of listener-submitted stories that would lead to a pun of the song title (such as "Rock Meet Ann B. Davis") and give Ralph an excuse to play it. When that song was eventually "retired", Ralph moved on to classic hits such as "She Blinded Me With Science" by Thomas Dolby, "Electric Avenue" by Eddy Grant, "Heat of the Moment" by Asia, "Funky Cold Medina" by Tone Loc and, on one occasion, Meat Loaf's "Bat out of Hell", and Eddie Money's Two Tickets To Paradise. As of January 2011, Ralph has been using Aerosmith's Dude Looks Like A Lady.
• "Pedro Guerrero" — Riffing on the over-enunciated way that O.J. Simpson said the ballplayer's name on a 911 tape, the guys never pass a chance to repeat the name and will, at times, pronounce similar sounding names in the same way.
• Karl Malone and "Santa" Karl — Reprised each Christmas season by former cast member Jimmy Kimmel, "Santa" Karl is somewhat of an inside joke for longtime listeners. In this bit, Kimmel takes calls from children, posing as Santa Claus as he might be voiced by basketball player Karl Malone. As the children give him their gift wish lists, "Santa" Karl provides improvised, usually inappropriate responses laced with sexual innuendo and other adult references. This bit originated with Kimmel performing in a traditional Santa Claus voice, but changed during the year he began making fun of Karl Malone's radio program, vowing to perform his entire on-air appearances as an impersonation of Malone.
• "There's always room for J-Lo!" — Although now seldom heard, for several years Ralph made almost daily mentions of Jennifer Lopez in the entertainment news bits, each followed with a lengthy explanation of how, despite the busy schedule and numerous more important stories, they were able to discuss Jennifer because "there's always room for J-Lo." This is a play on the Jell-O slogan, "There's always room for Jell-O!".
• The Kevin and Bean Curse — Soon after being interviewed for the show, local athletes or their teams often encounter bad luck, including injuries and losing streaks. One notable victim was then-Dodgers closer Éric Gagné.
• Kevin Breaks Up Bands — Since he reported the break-up of Rage Against the Machine before it was officially announced, Kevin is often blamed for causing the break-up, a trend that continued with Blink 182 and Audioslave.
• Every April 1, the show broadcasts a hoax, usually in an attempt to lure fans to events that do not exist (The "Mall of America West" in Anaheim, a free Blink 182 concert, Ralph's Bachelor Party). They have also broadcast an entire show of Pirate Radio's Shannon in the Morning (a former LA radio show), as well as running the typical Saturday morning show to throw off listeners.
• "Point for Cake" — A once-recurring bit titled "The Burning Question" featured staffers (usually Ralph and Money) debating a pointless topic while Bean would keep score of who was winning the contest. One such debate, "Which is better, cake or pie?" lead to the catch phrases "point for cake" meaning something good and "point for pie" meaning something bad. Soon after the bit ran, caller Nioria Gutierrez, claimed that the phrases were being used on the set of The Shield and that guest star Glenn Close started using them herself.
• "Speecy-Spicy Sausage" — When the gay cowboy movie Brokeback Mountain was making news, a parody clip was played in which Psycho Mike voiced both Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal in a moment of passion. Part of the clip, which refers to Ledger's member as a "speecy-spicy sausage", caught on as a catch phrase.
• "AFRO Line" — Kevin and Bean's voicemail line, which is (323) 520-AFRO. Callers phone in rants, jokes, songs, puerile noises, and other commentary, which sometimes makes it on the air. The term "AFRO Line" was coined by former member, Jimmy Kimmel. A-F-R-O are simply the letters found on the keys of the number pad. Interestingly, the members of the show do not remember the inception of the AFRO line, but it was actually Bean that started it. Years ago, Bean recounted one of his vacations to a small town where the local radio station was accessible to the local population. According to Bean, people were allowed to walk in or call the radio station and make a public announcement about local community events like garage sales. Kevin and Bean thought it would be interesting to offer the same service to the K&B listeners and hence the inception of the AFRO line. However, over time, the original intent was lost and it became a repository for listener rants and jokes.
• "Dieu To" — A Vietnamese listener who calls periodically since 2002 into the show at various times though it has been noted by Kevin and Bean that contacting him is extremely hard to do. Notable traits of Dieu-To were his effed up eye, his love for Steven Segal (which he pronounces Cigar), fondness of buffets, and affinity for desserts. His search for a soul mate lead him to only date women who are 5'8 or 5'9.He was believed to be a fake persona created by Show participant Ralph Garman, though later dispelled with numerous in studio features and a parody segment of MTV Cribs which only furthered the mystery of Dieu To.
• The Butterball Hotline — Every Thanksgiving, Kevin and Bean call in to get advice from the turkey company, (much to the chagrin of Kevin) often leading to a disastrous, unintentionally funny bit. Bean plays a farmer attempting to get advice from the turkey company on how to kill a turkey with Ralph in the background voicing the turkey in question. The bit was not done in 2011 due to Kevin and Bean forming a devil pact and going against the wishes of Ralph and the land of the stars and stripes. They have yet to be forgiven.
• Lisa May's Gift from QVC — Every year, for Christmas and Lisa May's birthday, Kevin and Bean call QVC and purchase whatever is being shown on television at the moment for Lisa's gift, regardless of the price or usefulness of the product. The gift is always less than desirable, and the cheaper the price, the happier the boys are. One year, Lisa and Ralph enlisted the services of an actress to play the QVC operator, and tricked Kevin and Bean into thinking they just bought her a high definition TV.
• "Anna?" - A recent, running joke started the day after Anna Nicole Smith was found dead. The joke implies that the "KROQ microphones were there" at the moment of Smith's death, and a recording is played of Smith voicing an intro for the Kevin and Bean Show while walking down a hallway. Suddenly, sounds of Smith falling over are heard, and Producer Lightning, in a deep voice, says, "Anna?" The joke has since been expanded to include Bean's cow("cow?"), Captain America("Captain?"), the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ("Turtle?"), Peter Petrelli calling out the name "Mohinder" from NBC's Heroes, astronaut Buzz Aldrin and others.
• The Month - Forced to give the date multiple times during a broadcast and due to their making fun of that fact that October was coined as "Rocktober", Kevin and Bean have taken to giving each month a funny and sexually suggestive name. Such names include Va-January, Febru-areola, Mar-chi-ca-bow-wow (patterned after porn music), Aprilingus, May...I see them, Poon (June), Ju-like it in the ass, Ju-like cream in your coffee, Au-Au-Au-AUGUST, Slutember, Rocktober, Blovember, and Double D-cemeber. This word play has since been terminated by station management on July 9, 2009 because it 'may' be offensive to some listeners.
• Halloween Spooks - An annual tradition loved by all except Kevin. "Halloween Spooks" is a song performed by 1960s jazz trio Lambert, Hendricks, & Ross and is loved by the rest of the show except Kevin who complains long and loud about how annoying and stupid the song is. Bean begins October by playing the song in little snippets until Halloween when they will usually play the song in its entirety. The duration of the song will usually include the cast making fun of the odd and unusual vocalizations throughout. The show has created new versions of the song titled "Thanksgiving Cooks" and "Hanukkah Jews" to go along with their respective holidays. Songs for Martin Luther King, Jr., Groundhog Day, Valentine's Day, the Chinese New Year, and Leap Day have also been made.
• Miss Double D-cember — Each December Kevin and Bean have a pageant to choose a voluptuous woman as Miss Double D-cember for the upcoming year. The winner appears with Kevin and Bean at various KROQ shows and events. The current Miss Double D-cember is Joanna.
• Kevin and Bean Foreign Correspondence- Every time Kevin and Bean find an interesting article that is in another country they go and call the country. Ralph always hates it and he always has a discouraging attitude towards the idea of calling other countries. The calls usually end up being unanswered, or it gets answered but Kevin and Bean wouldn't be able to communicate with the person on the other line, because of the language. In the end they would have to call Dave The King of Mexico to pretend that he is the guy that is in the country that they are calling.
• Hey!- As of late the Kevin and Bean crew has been adding an over zealous "Hey!" to the end of songs that do not usually require one. To which the person who does the hey gets teased.
• "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" — Bean is obsessed with the song, which he mentions whenever he can and plays on the anniversary of the wreck.
• AC/DC? — An obviously false answer given by listeners to giveaway questions when stumped. This originated during a segment called "Famous Deads" where contestants were given trivia questions where all the answers had the word "dead" in them. After Kevin and Ralph explained repeatedly for a solid minute that the answers shall have the word "dead" in them, the very first contestant to call in obliviously answered with "AC/DC?"