Bert Kalmar
Bert Kalmar was born on February 10, 1884 and died on September 18, 1947. He was an American lyricist. Born in New York, New York, Kalmar ran away from home at the age of 10 to become a magician at a tent show, and retained an interest in magic all his life. He never got much of an education, but decided to make a career in show business. He earned enough money as a vaudeville performer to start a music publishing company called, Kalmar and Puck.
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Famous quotes by bert kalmar:
“Why don’t you go home to your wife? I’ll tell you what. I’ll go home to your wife and outside of the improvements, you’ll never know the difference. Pull over to the side of the road there and let me see your marriage license.”
—S.J. Perelman, U.S. screenwriter, Bert Kalmar, Harry Ruby, and Norman Z. McLeod. Groucho Marx, Horsefeathers, a wisecrack made to Huxley College’s outgoing president (1932)
“Members of the faculty, faculty members, students of Huxley and Huxley students. I guess that covers everything.”
—S.J. Perelman, U.S. screenwriter, Bert Kalmar, Harry Ruby, and Norman Z. McLeod. Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff (Groucho Marx)
“I tell you, you’re ruining that boy. You’re ruining him. Why can’t you do as much for me?”
—S.J. Perelman, U.S. screenwriter, Bert Kalmar, Harry Ruby, and Norman Z. McLeod. Groucho Marx, Horsefeathers, a wisecrack made as Huxley College president to Connie, the college widow (Thelma Todd)