Critical Reception
Billboard's Kerri Mason, in her review of the album, comments that "she enunciates the heck out of two tunes co-written by Perry." Bill Lamb of About.com praised the song's hook, chorus and Clarkson's voice, writing that they take the record to the next level. He was dismissive of the song's arrangement, describing it as "standard rock". Lamb gave "I Do Not Hook Up" a four-star rating, stating that "Kelly Clarkson proves she knows her way all around a melodic rock song, and you will find yourself singing along." Ann Powers, a writer for Los Angeles Times, commented that it "should be heard by every teen girl contemplating chucking her purity ring." The Harvard Crimson writer Olivia S. Pei finds "I Do Not Hook Up" as a refreshing change from music like Katy Perry's single "I Kissed a Girl" (One of the Boys, 2008), while noting irony in the fact that Perry co-wrote the single. Pei also adds that "I Do Not Hook Up" and "My Life Would Suck Without You" show off Clarkson's vocal versatility, but fails to make up for the absence of creative rhythms. Matt Busekroos of The Quinnipiac Chronicle commented that Clarkson adds more to the Perry-penned tracks "with her voice and revamped studio production."
Nick Levine of Digital Spy gave the song a four-star rating, praising the song as a "a giddy power-pop nugget with a Haribo buzz of a chorus." Levine also praised Clarkson's vocal abilities, commenting that she "tears into the anti-one night stand lyrics with gusto." A writer for Female First described the single as "a feisty anthem with a catchy guitar riff and chorus, which Kelly bellows out with her amazing voice. After just one listen you find yourself already singing along." Blake Solomon, a writer for AbsolutePunk, praised the recording as a forceful pop song reminiscent of Clarkson's earlier singles from her second studio album Breakaway (2004), writing that it relies on a massive chorus that will "destroy radio as we know it" but comments that it is "less serious and dancey as hell." Patrick Ferrucci of The New Haven Register praised it as a "fiery and empowering anthem for young females". Lisa Norman of This is Nottingham labeled "I Do Not Hook Up" as one of the album's highlights. Allmusic writer Stephen Thomas Erlewine also listed it as a highlight of All I Ever Wanted, writing that she "sounds impassioned and invested in these numbers, selling every one of the skyscraper hooks, but better still she sounds relatable, pulling listeners into a song instead of keeping them at a distance." Sal Cinquemani of Slant Magazine comments that "it doesn't say much that her take on "I Do Not Hook Up" improves on Perry's original demo version." Rolling Stone's Jody Rosen praised the song as a "spitfire mix of melody and crashing guitars" and describes it as "the most raucous odes to chastity in recent memory." On March 5, 2013 Billboard ranked the song #45 in its list of Top 100 American Idol Hits of All Time.
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