The Good, The Bad, and The Guilty
It is 10:10 p.m., 2 July 1881-a balmy evening in the little Wyoming Territory town of Roadkill. In response to a warm invitation from His Honor, Judge Waylon Payne, you have gathered in his home, beside the courthouse, in the heart of town, for a sumptuous dinner. Dinner will be followed by the hanging of the infamous, formerly elusive Malevolent Seven-a villainous gang of criminals rumored to have secretly victimized your fair territory for many years. Although no one knows the identity of the Malevolent Seven, everyone will find out tonight.
June 19, 1881
My Dearest Friends, In my tireless attempts to rid the town of Roadkill of the villainous scum that is corrupting our citizens, I take pride in announcing the capture of the Malevolent Seven-a dastardly conspiracy of criminals that has secretly victimized our fair territory for far too many years. To celebrate this landmark moment in law enforcement, I have erected eight gallows on Main Street: seven for the execution of this thieving, murderous band, and one for good luck. The execution will take place at midnight on the second of July, to "kick off" festivities for the Fourth of July weekend. As a crowd is expected, I've reserved prime seating for you, my most honored guests and dear friends. You shall be served a sumptuous meal in my home prior to our thrilling main event, which will begin with the hanging of the mysterious masked horseman who masterminded the Seven's unsavory crimes. So, leave your affairs in order, and come join me in this triumphant celebration. The honor of your presence is required.
Sincerely, Waylon Payne
Read more about this topic: How To Host A Murder
Famous quotes containing the words the good, the, the and/or guilty:
“The good, the admirable reader identifies himself not with the boy or the girl in the book, but with the mind that conceived and composed that book.”
—Vladimir Nabokov (1899–1977)
“I sometimes feel a great ennui, profound emptiness, doubts which sneer in my face in the midst of the most spontaneous satisfactions. Well, I would not exchange all that for anything, because it seems to me, in my conscience, that I am doing my duty, that I am obeying a superior fatality, that I am following the Good and that I am in the Right.”
—Gustave Flaubert (1821–1880)
“Only by being guilty of Folly does mortal man in many cases arrive at the perception of Sense. A thought which should forever free us from hasty imprecations upon our ever-recurring intervals of Folly; since though Folly be our teacher, Sense is the lesson she teaches; since, if Folly wholly depart from us, Further Sense will be her companion in the flight, and we will be left standing midway in wisdom.”
—Herman Melville (1819–1891)