Partial Cast of Characters
- Performed by Williams
- Charlene Bumiller - Daughter of Hank and Bertha Bumiller, and sister to Stanley and Jody
- Jody Bumiller - Youngest child of Bertha Bumiller, followed constantly by "eight to ten dogs"
- Stanley Bumiller - fresh from reform school; twin to Charlene, and he later talks to the dead judge gloating how he killed him
- Vera Carp - Town snob and vice president of the Smut-Snatchers of the New Order
- Petey Fisk - Employee of the Greater Tuna Humane Society
- Didi Snavely - Owner of Didi's Used Weapons ("If we can't kill it, it's immortal")
- Arles Struvie - A disc jockey at radio station OKKK
- Chad Hartford- A reporter from Houston who comes to interview Bertha
- Phinas Blye- A politician from Indiana who runs for City Council every election
- Harold Dean Lattimer- OKKK's weatherman
- Helen Bedd - waitress, Tastee Kreme Diner
- Performed by Sears
- Bertha Bumiller - wife of Hank and mother to Jody, Stanley, and Charlene; member of the Smut Snatchers of the New Order
- Hank Bumiller- Husband of Bertha
- Pearl Burras - Aunt to Bertha, who is addicted to killing dogs (in the play, called canicidal thumbitus)
- Leonard Childers - Station Manager of OKKK
- Sheriff Givens- Believes in old-fashioned jails
- Elmer Watkins, head of the local chapter of the KKK, dedicated to making the town safe "for the right kind of people"
- Yippy the dog- Pet of the month for five weeks in a row, yips a lot, and no one wants to adopt him
- R.R. Snavely - UFOlogist, town drunk, and husband to Didi
- The Reverend Spikes, president of the Smut Snatchers of the New Order
- Thurston Wheelis - A disc jockey at radio station OKKK
- Inita Goodwin - cook, Tastee Kreme Diner
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