Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas Soundtrack - Commercials

Commercials

Commercials that reference events in game:

• Zebra Bar (Ed McMann; two commercials) — An exotic chocolate bar that mixes white chocolate with dark chocolate. It is mentioned in the first WCTR news bulletin that a protest outside the Zebra Bar Candy Company was occurring.
• Proposition 421 — A proposition against smoking, which would allow a citizen to legally shoot and kill a smoker in self-defense. The name is a possible reference to 420, a slang for marijuana.
• The Epsilon Program (Fred Melamed, three commercials) — A cult. Numerous people in the game appear to be members including original Entertaining America host Billy Dexter and Area 53 host Marvin Trill. Epsilon Program founder Chris Formage is interviewed by Lazlow on the third and final segment of Entertaining America. Dwayne Thorn, from VCPR in Vice City Stories also utters the Program's mantra "Kifflom" at one point, as does VCFL DJ Tina Jane, who insults the cult. It offers "eternal salvation for those who attend".
• Inversion Therapy (Danny Burstein) — A form of therapy to overcome rather extreme fears by facing them (for example, if you fear dying, the therapy advises committing suicide to get over it), creator Darius Fontaine calls in on the final Entertaining America, Lazlow having tried the therapy unsuccessfully.
• Castradon — A baldness remedy that eliminates Testosterone and attacks the glands that produce it (i.e. the testicles). Castradon is mentioned as a sponsor of car racing on the second episode of The Tight End Zone.
• The Cavern of Sorrow — A role-playing game spoofing Dungeons & Dragons. Playback FM DJ Forth Right MC mentions having to get supplies for a Cavern of Sorrow marathon.
• Ammu-Nation — (Intro voiced by Frank Chavez) Advertising guns, telling everyone why they should all buy and own a gun ("Ammu-Nation, protecting your family from the evils of a liberal society"). Commercial for the Ammu-Nation store that is in the game. The Ammu-Nation commercial from Vice City that is played in the chain can be heard inside all of the stores throughout the state.
• Cluckin' Bell (Two commercials) — A commercial for the fried chicken chain in the game, which is a parody of KFC. Sage from Radio X dedicates a song off the station (Primal Scream's "Movin' On Up") to a guy she "did behind the Cluckin' Bell." The commercials make references to KFC's many controversies, including accusations of cruelty to chickens. The advertisement host also says, "If you enjoy it, the chicken didn't die in vain!" and "Suffering never tasted so good!"

• Blotto's (Three commercials) — A store catering for daily habits. At the end of the first Gardening with Maurice show, Maurice briefly mentions Blotto's.
• Ultimate Disc in the Dark — A San Fierro-based game where players throw a flying disc in the dark, the object is to catch a disc and run to the goal to score. It is mentioned as a sponsor for the first installment of The Wild Traveller.
• Bouche Cologne — A cologne for the man who wants to feel like a real man. This is the first of two different colognes that are advertised on the radio within the game. Lonely Hearts host Christy becomes aroused by Fernando's Bouche cologne in a later Lonely Hearts segment.
• My Five Uncles — A TV series of which is both a parody of My Two Dads and Full House. The show is about an "emotionally abused orphan" teenage girl who is adopted by five gay men. The show is broadcast on the fictional channel "LSBC." CSR DJ Philip "PM" Michaels mentions in his DJ chatter that he auditioned recently for the show.
• Celebrate with Cake — (Two commercials) Encourages eating when one is feeling depressed. DJ Philip "PM" Michaels states that he "really wants to sing in that Celebrate with Cake commercial".

Other Commercials:

• Commemorative Miniatures — A historical miniature wargaming commercial, selling miniatures soldiers and tanks. General Custer, Napoleon, the Charge of the Light Brigade and the Trail of Tears are mentioned.
• Law (Jeff Berlin, three commercials) — Legal drama series broadcast on Thursdays on cable channel Weasel. A parody to legal shows such as L.A. Law. "Catch it Thursdays on Weasel, before it catches you!"
• Intergalactic Wrestling Title — A spoof of American professional wrestling that is also broadcast on Weasel.
• Proposition 832 — B.I.G.O.T. (Ban Immigration Green Cards Outright Today) An organization aiming to ban immigration and instead create a new status for illegal aliens, whereby "while they're here, they have no rights." The ad also claims, "If we give them green cards, soon they’ll be just like us - overweight, unhappy, and too lazy to do menial tasks."
• Proposition 602 — A proposition to end mass-transit, converting bus-lanes and train tracks into more roads for the benefit of car owners.
• Commando Pest Eradication — A radical team of Vietnam veterans acting as insect exterminators. "It's the War on Nature; and this time, we're winning."
• Dreamakers — Talent agency where nobodies are trained to become "stars". Based in Vinewood.
• eXsorbeo — A portable game console. The commercial equates playing games on the system with masturbation, with such lines as, "Look mom, I'm playing with myself!" and "don't play too long or you'll go blind". The console has its own website.
• Tropicarcinoma — Anti-tan-cream made from coconut oil, zinc, aluminum, boron, magnesium, and other volatile metals.
• Crimson Executive Spouse Indemnity Services (1-866-505-CRIM) — Easily obtainable legal service offering life insurance policies for husbands in case their wives suffer terrible "accidents" (similar to the D'Leo and Thurax commercial from GTA: Vice City.) The customers in both testimonials are strongly implied to have murdered their spouses to cash in on their new insurance coverage. Possibly a reference to Monty Python's Crimson Permanent Assurance.
• Mike Andrews (Two commercials) — A self-help guru promoting a "less is more" approach to wealth for the poor.
• Kilimanjaro (Two commercials) — A clothes shop "for the bigger men."
• Eris Pump Up Shoes — A sports shoe commercial which parodies the mid-90s obsession with Reebok Pump shoes. The Eris brand previously featured in a commercial in GTA III. The advertising was voiced by Sean R. Lynch.
• Creative Plastic Surgery — A plastic surgery clinic promoting unusual changes such as tails or a third breast.
• American Bank of Los Santos — A commercial about bank loans, has the same music as the Little Lacy Surprise ad in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories
• San Andreas Telephone — (Four commercials) The commercials parody numerous "stay in touch with loved ones" phone company advertising campaigns.
• Glory Hole Theme Park — (Mike Blakeney, two commercials) A theme park that caters to unconventional sexual behavior but presents itself as a family amusement park. "Gloryhole! Where strangers become friends! Gloryhole! You don't need to know names!"
• Special Needs Cop (Randy Perlstein, Jeff Berlin, Ron Reeve, Mike, Chris and James Ferrante and Chris Silvestro) — A movie starring action star Jack Howitzer (from the "Exploder" movie in Vice City) as a cop going undercover in a school for special-needs kids. A spoof on Kindergarten Cop.
• Carcer City — Commercial advertising Carcer City as a holiday destination for those who are "tired of all the sunshine and good weather." Carcer City was the setting of the Rockstar Games title Manhunt.
• Shine by Helmut Schein — Designer perfume. Voiced by Jodie Shawback. Shawback also plays the Radio X DJ 'Sage.' She is the only in-game DJ to also be in an in-game radio commercial.
• Renegade Cologne (Jeff Berlin) — "For the man who wants to reek of masculinity."
• Sooth — A hallucinogenic cold and cough syrup made from codeine, morphine, and alcohol. Also available for children as Sooth Junior. May be partially inspired by "purple drank", a recreational drug popular in Southern hip-hop culture.
• Rapidyke — The do-it-yourself sexual realignment kit: the quickest and latest way to change your sex. "It's just snip, chop, stuff & swallow. Four quick actions with amazing effects."
• Herr Gruber's Spa — An international spa business owned by Herr Gruber, who has opened spas all around the world including such countries as Germany, Switzerland & Brazil
• Sprunk — An explosive re-energizing soft drink carbonated with ether. The Sprunk logo and colour scheme bear a strong resemblance to those of Sprite. A Sprunk factory can be found situated in one of Red County's country villages. There is also a Sprunk advertising board in Los Santos, which CJ crashes a car into during the mission "Reuniting the Families" (Reuniting the Families), the catch phrase on the board originally said A Taste of Things to Come, but after the crash, only the words A Taste of Come is left, referring to the word cum: (ejaculation - semen). A commercial is heard on the radio, saying that Sprunk now has a grenade shaped can. A radio ad for a Sprunk sweepstakes offers customers a chance to win a real box of grenades.
• Grin — A medication that cures the depression and anxiety that one gets from living life in the suburbs.
• Ice Diamonds/De Koch Diamonds — The perfect gift for your partner: "chill that bitch out, with ice."
• Fokari Film — Photographic film developing company. "Memories are forever...sort of"
• Abbigo Brokerage and Pawn — Trade in absolutely anything in exchange for cash.
• Logger Beer (Ed MacMann) — "The beer that brought the forest down!"
• Logger Light (Ed MacMann) — A low calorie diet version which "facilitate alcoholism without the attendant weight gain."
• Redwood Cigarettes — A brand of cigarette that "helps cure stress." With sponsorship of Los Santos City Marathon.
• Don't let Your Children Ride Bicycles — Do the motherly thing and buy your child an over-powered sports car instead of a bike. A public service announcement sponsored by The Governor’s Office of San Andreas, in association with Maibatsu Cars of America.
• Lustrious — (Two commercials) A hair styling product.
• The Crazy Cat — A strip club where the women know how to entertain "gentlemen."
• Executive Intruder Extermination Services — Personal security service offering protection for wealthy paranoids.
• Janus — Service to help people alienate their family to protect their new west coast identities.
• Hampshire Nannies — Company offering strict classical British style nannies. The narrator is "Freddy," the nanny and spanking obsessed caller in previous GTA games.
• Starfish Resort and Casino — Casino targeting children as well as adults.
• Join the Military — Recruiting commercial for the military with the usual GTA touch.
• Midlife Crisis Center — Services provided for middle aged men who want to regain their youth. (Specializing in real estate, divorce attorneys, mistress placement, plastic surgery, hair colouring and replacement and male fur coats.) "Come with your wife, leave with a sports car."