Goodbye Pork Pie - Plot

Plot

In the Northland town of Kaitaia in Spring 1978, nineteen-year-old Gerry Austin (Kelly Johnson) opportunistically steals a wallet accidentally dropped by a wealthy woman named Lesley Morris. Finding cash and her driver's licence inside it, he uses them to rent a yellow Mini. With no particular aim in mind, he drifts down to Auckland. Meanwhile in Auckland, the middle-aged John (Tony Barry), has just had Sue, his girlfriend of six years, walk out on him and return home to Invercargill. After a night on the bottle, John decides to go down to Invercargill.

Searching for transport, John notices Gerry being stopped by a traffic officer for failing to wear a seat belt. John intervenes and manages to get the officer off writing a ticket. As thanks, Gerry offers John a lift part of the way. The duo stop for petrol in the northern Waikato, but in confusion accidentally drive-off without paying, drawing police attention to the already stolen car.

Further down the road, Gerry and John pick up Shirl (Claire Oberman), who is heading to Wanganui, and after informing the duo that she is a virgin, Gerry makes a bet that this will change before reaching Wanganui. After failing to pay for petrol on purpose in the central North Island, they are pursued by a motorcycle officer, with the duo ending up avoiding arrest by driving into a car wreckers. On the road to Wanganui, the trio discuss about whether Gerry had sex with Shirl or not when he tried to silence her in the chase beforehand. However, the discussion ends in a stalemate.

Shirl doesn't leave at Wanganui, and decides to stays with the guys and go to Wellington. In Wellington, the trio meet Mulvaney (Bruno Lawrence), an old associate of John's, who gives the trio overnight accommodation at his garage in Wellington, and supplies them with money and drugs in return for parts of the car. The next morning, the trio leave and head to the inter-island ferry terminal. Gerry accidentally runs a red traffic light, and is immediately pursued by the police through central Wellington. The trio avoid the police by driving through Wellington Railway Station and stowing the Mini in an empty boxcar being shunted onto the inter-island ferry.

Arriving in the South Island, the boxcar is attached to a train destined for Christchurch, and the trio enjoy a leisurely ride, decorating the wagon with the name "Blondini" and other items found in the train's wagons. After a night of partying, Gerry finally wins his bet with Shirl. Arriving in Christchurch in the morning, the trio finds out the wagon is not leaving the city for the West Coast until that night, so spend the day on the town. Gerry and John return to the train, but notices Shirl is not there, and the train leaves without her.

After leaving the train, Gerry and John stop at a tearoom further down the coast. They find out from the television that Shirl was arrested for shoplifting, and that they're wanted in a national man-hunt of the "Blondini Gang". The duo are pursued by police down the coast, and continue to sell parts off the car for money. At one sale in Cromwell, they are short-changed and John take a full petrol can as extra payment.

At Dunedin, the duo meet Snout, who helps them avoid the police on the Dunedin Northern Motorway and buys more parts off the car. After he finds out they are heading to Invercargill, he tips off Gerry and John to the police. Stopping for conveniences, the duo is spotted by police and are pursued. Gerry is arrested, but manages to escape from the police car and jumps onto the Mini. The police try to PIT the Mini, and Gerry falls off and is hit by the pursuing police car. John says goodbye to Gerry, then takes the car and proceeds to Invercargill.

John encounters a roadblock at the entrance to Invercargill and diverts through a cemetery to avoid it, but not before the Armed Offenders Squad shoots a hole in the Cromwell fuel can, spilling the petrol. Approaching Sue's house, the insecure exhaust pipe dragging along the road ignites the fuel, setting alight and destroying the Mini. John reunites with Sue, but their reunion is short-lived when police surround the house. John finally admits defeat, and is arrested.